


Gears in Motion

by HisGlasses



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: And probably smut, Ardyn runs this brothel and is the nicest pimp ever, Brothel AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Groping, I'll be trying hard this time, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Slow Burn, Swearing, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, as slow as it can get with 10 chapters, night club, please be kind, probably, the surroundings allow it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2019-08-09 03:27:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisGlasses/pseuds/HisGlasses
Summary: Ignis has been working in a big and busy company in Insomnia for about a year and he is about to reach his breaking point. Work is sapping every bit of energy and he starts wondering what life is actually about, only to realise that he has become numb and is no longer able to feel.That one rainy night, something in the lights of a special district in town catches his eye and he finds himself straying from the usual path. And what he finds...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY.  
> So here I am. Let it be said that this story started out _without smut_ , believe it or not. I don't know how much of it I will be able to put in here, but I will try because: what would a brothel AU be without some smut but a true letdown?  
> First time trying to implement sexy times and I'm not sure I even have an idea for what might be appealing, please be kind |D
> 
> ANYWAYS. The first chapter is setting the scene on which the story will unfold. It's planned to have 10 chapters and I hope I will stick to that number. The chapters won't have any predesignated length so expect to find longer and shorter ones.
> 
> I hope you will enjoy this little adventure here and please let me know what you think!

Rain. People associate different things with it. There are probably as many types of rain as there are perceptions and opinions of the natural phenomenon. A light spring shower, fresh and chilly to the skin but soft to the touch, full of anticipation. The downpours in summer, carrying all kinds of herbal scents and notions of far away dusty desert lands, bringing lukewarm refreshment to the woods, plants and those, who choose to boldly discard their umbrellas to dance and get soaked under the watery strings. Autumn storms that quench the fire of the trees, pinning their multicoloured leaves to the ground and driving people to flee for their homes, out of the cold and inside their safe havens, watching the fused power of water and wind with steaming cups in their hands. And those drops, that on occasion, when the time and temperature is just right transform into white and pure cotton flakes to enchant the people with the sight of the soft coat they weave.

There are some who love and some who hate it. 

Ignis had stopped wondering which of those sides he belonged to.

His gaze lingered on the tip of his shoes as the countless drops dripped off the varnished leather and down to the dark concrete. The umbrella in his hand was dangling sadly from his side like a useless limb, guiding the droplets to the ground but not shielding anything like it was supposed to. The water was already seeping through Ignis’ suit jacket, making his shirt cling to his shoulders like cool hands, whose fingers trickled down his back on occasion.

Ignis didn’t sense any of this. It was not like he didn’t feel it. But he didn’t sense anything. Slowly he tilted his head up and back, the rain plastering his neatly groomed hair to his forehead in dishevelled disarray. When had he become so indifferent and tired, so hollow?

It had been over a year since he had graduated from university, passed with flying colours and scores that marked his excellency. People had cheered and wished him the best for the future. His parents had been proud. They had also been proud when he announced them that he’d be moving to work at Fenestala Solution Inc., one of the most prestigious corporations existing. Their son would be successful and start into a new part of his life with the best conditions possible.

They couldn’t have been more wrong.

Almost a year and he still hadn’t been able to fully adapt to the hustle and bustle of the immense city that was entrapped by skyscrapers looking much alike to greedy giants staring down on their prey. Ignis had found an apartment, small and comfortable on the thirty-seventh floor with a nice view but even one year later, there were still unpacked boxes piling up in the corners of his living room, the walls still bare. The only sign of a person actually living there, were his shoes at the entrance, an empty cup waiting to be rinsed in the sink and the crumpled-up sheets of his bed.

Ignis was barely spending any time in the little home of his. It was where he slept, where he woke and where he returned after a day of work and fell back to his sheets. There was not much in between, weekends excluded. He didn’t know, who his neighbours were, no faces connecting to the place he lived.

Work was not much different either. There were people, and many of them, burying themselves within their walls of documents and appointments, phone calls and e-mails. Of course, there was casual talk, sometimes about private matters but mostly about work. There was nothing of substance there, nothing that resonated with his heart or mind.

The tasks themselves were fine, challenging even and just the way Ignis had imagined and wished for but their amount was way too much to handle. So was the pressure from above. As much as they had been friendly at the start, this didn’t change anything in the roughness of speech they made use of. Especially Ravus.

A young manager of excellence with his eyes set to his goal, ever moving towards it without even wavering in the slightest. Ignis once had envisioned to tread the same path, now he wasn’t so sure about it anymore. Ravus was impressive and more than capable but he was also cold and adamant. Ignis remembered to be intimidated the first time he had been called to his office because of a mistake he had made in the process. He didn’t like the way he was speaking to him.

All of this had piled up in his chest and concentrated around his very core, hardening it for protection. Sometimes he came to think about his current state of things, and deep down he knew it was no good. But then again he sometimes let those thoughts be washed away by the rain falling down onto his face. Things will be fine, the drops would whisper, taking any unnecessary sorrows with them and leaving behind the shell of a once bright mind.

Ignis tilted his head back to its original position, not even bothering about the water that had sprinkled his glasses and walked away from the office building. One step after the other, each one neatly placed in front of the other. Maybe it was curiosity that held his gaze on the bouncing droplets, examining their dancing patterns and wondering what happened if two of them collided and fused to one. Maybe it was indifference.

The sky had begun to darken and vivid neons illuminated the evening. Their reflections in the puddles made the ground seem made of glass, hiding a blueprint of this reality underneath. Ignis wondered if this side of the world wasn’t the blueprint itself.

Instead of heading straight home, Ignis decided to make for one of the smaller side plazas; smaller but not less frequented. He had often walked past but never actually bothered to stop by and see what kept the enclave alive and in motion day in day out. It was always a little louder there than elsewhere, a little brighter. Sometimes he thought he had even caught a hint of music playing. Why not have a look at it, just for a moment?

Ignis changed direction with a crossing sweep of his feet and walked towards the colourful and pulsating lights. There were many restaurants and bars, as it seemed, one or the other game centre and a lot of people, umbrellas of various colours and shapes wriggling their ways through the crowd. Ignis thought that it might be nice having people around for a little longer. Not for conversation, no but just for the feel of it. The feeling of not being alone. He found a bench next to a little fountain where he decided to sit down. The water seeped through his trousers from below.

It was not like he was doing anything unusual. Ignis found himself often spending time in roomy and modern cafés, preferably with view on the busy streets of the city. He liked studying the people around him, those inside the café and those who were just walking by. He would make up what sort of life they probably led, what character traits they had, what hobbies and dreams. It was a pass time that often made him smile. Occasionally he would write those thoughts down into a notebook he was always carrying around. Maybe it could come in handy one day.  
Today the book would stay in his pocket though. It would be a waste to have it macerate in the rain.

The people here were busy, no doubt. A lot of them wearing their daily battle gear, suits and ties, men and women alike swarming like crows. Some of their faces were dull, others brighter than the surrounding neons. Women, not much younger than himself laughing about the latest celebrity gossip, a man holding a woman tight, begging her to stay under the umbrella so she would not get wet, groups of men, who had obviously had their fill for the night, playfully swaying towards the next drinking place, hotel room or train station. They were much like himself, he realised and yet they seemed happy. Ignis wondered if there wasn’t anything beyond this sort of life, something more behind the curtains of a grey routine playing back day by day like a broken record.

“Hey. You alright?”

It took a moment until Ignis realised that he was the one being talked to. Slowly his eyes rose up to see a tall figure standing close to him.

“Pardon?”

“You alright?”, the man repeated.

Ignis was confused that the rain had suddenly stopped, before he noticed that the man was holding his umbrella over him.

“Not a nice time for spacing out, don’t ya think? You’re soaked.”

Ignis’ gaze turned back on the figure that had decided to talk to him for some reason. He was not only tall but also built, long hair tied into a more or less messy bun with a shaggy fringe grazing his forehead. Three necklaces, two golden and shorter and one longer black one were dangling from his neck and onto a black top that he wore under an open leather jacket. A rock musician, maybe.

“I...” I am alright, thank you. It was the most evident and simple answer to the question, especially when being talked to by a total stranger. Yet something in Ignis hindered him in uttering the words. Was he really alright?  
He blinked in confusion, distantly fascinated by his incapability to talk.

“I don’t know.”

He watched the man in front of him bring his brows close into a firm line and his eyes flickering from the right to the left, seemingly checking on their surroundings.

“Look, I don’t know what’s up with you, but you gotta do something about it. Can’t stay here like this. Do you have a home?”

Yes, thank you very kindly. It is just where I was about to go to. Have a nice evening.  
But somehow it felt not right to call his place like that.

“I don’t know.”

The man pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows.  
“I mean, you have a place to stay?”

Ah, that sounded better.  
“Yes.”

The man seemed relieved.  
“Good. Then you better get your ass up and move. You’ll get sick if you don’t.”

Now that he mentioned it. It had gotten cold and the moist clothing clinging to Ignis’ skin wasn’t exactly making this better. He’d have to get back to his apartment, yes. But maybe a drink or two to chase the chill from his bones might be wise. What bad would it do to ask?

“Can you recommend a place to get warmed up around here? I think liquor or basically anything hot might do the trick but I’m not familiar with the surroundings.”

The man looked at him incredulously before he snorted.  
“Well, I know where to find both alcohol and something hot but not sure that’s what you really mean”, he laughed.

“Where do I find that place?”

The man’s expression froze instantly at his straight answer. He seemed unsure if he had understood him well but Ignis didn’t think he had been babbling as much. How bad could a place possibly be?

They walked a little, the taller man checking back on Ignis’ word at least two times more until they reached a building with heavy doors. It didn’t give off the air of being open yet - yet being about half past eight - but the bulky man confidently walked up the few steps to the entrance. His knock against the door gave off a dull and hollow sound.

Promptly enough a little square in the door opened up with the noise of sliding metal. Something like a high pitched joyful giggle came from behind, before the slit closed shut again and the door squeaked open in exchange.

“Gladio, dear. I have already been expecting you.”

Another man, taller than the one named Gladio stood in the door, golden light illuminating him from behind and catching in what seemed to be burgundy coloured hair, held together in a short ponytail.

“You keep saying that every time”, Gladio grunted amused, bouncing back a friendly punch with the palm of his hand.

“Ready to go for another night?”, the man purred, running his hands along the collar of Gladio’s leather jacket to smooth it out. He was wearing a lot of rings, as Ignis noticed.

“Sure thing”, Gladio grinned. “Guess we can get started right now. I’ve picked up visit on the way.”

The gaze of the man followed the direction Gladio’s thumb was pointing in and suddenly Ignis found himself in the focus of a pair of wicked coloured eyes. Maybe it was because of the light from the inside but they appeared to have the colour of liquid gold.

“Oh my, I thought we didn’t do that sort of picking up guests in the streets anymore”, he chimed, narrowing his eyes just the slightest bit. He reminded Ignis of a predator, zeroing in on his target.

“Sorry, boss”, Gladio grumbled. “It was just-”

“I asked him to bring me here”, Ignis said flatly. This Gladio didn’t really pick him up and facts had to be laid out clear and unmistakable. He could take the responsibility for his own actions.

“Oh, did you, yes?”  
The man stepped out of the light and closer towards him, shadow chasing away the golden hues from his appearance. Maybe he should feel alarmed. Ignis swallowed.

“Indeed. I was looking for a place to warm up, some liquor for assistance, preferably.”

The man’s face stilled for a moment before showing a wide grin with flashing teeth.  
“In that case, you’ve come to the right address. We will give you the warmest welcome.”  
His hand delicately put away one of the wet strands of hair that were hanging above Ignis’ glasses.  
“What do you call yourself, if I may ask?”

Ignis blinked fast. That was unexpected.  
“Ignis”, he answered, something in him deeming it wiser to not utter his full name.

“I see. Ardyn, at your service. It’s a pleasure to have you here tonight, Ignis.”  
Ardyn greeted him with the hint of a bow before he carefully enclosed his shoulder with merely his fingertips and pushed him towards the door. There was warm air coming from the inside.  
“Shall we, then?”

 

Ignis followed Ardyn through a narrow corridor, Gladio walking right behind him. It reminded him somewhat of detention but that would be just because of the space issue. There was another door at the end, more ornate than the functional one. Ardyn pushed the handle down and opened it with a generous swing.

“Good evening everyone”, he tromboned through the room. “I’d like to introduce a new guest. This is Ignis and he will be joining us for tonight. Please make sure he’s treated nicely and well cared for.” His eyes peeked at him from under a wine lock.  
“It seems like he could need it.”

The scenery that was laid out before his eyes made himself go rigid just the slightest bit. Too spacious to still be called small, little groups of coffee tables and comfortable armchairs of dark leather stood against ornate walls of purples and reds, blending into black swirls on occasion. There were golden lights distributed all over the room in symmetry, taking the form of candles on the counter of a bar in the corner. There was a sweet scent in the air, almost too sweet and Ignis worried if it could possibly have an intoxicating effect. But what worried him the most was his company.

The place itself was empty still, guests galore yet to come as the preparations suggested. But the personnel, or what he assumed to be personnel made its character all too clear. The lady behind the counter was unmistakably blessed with very prominent female features, wearing a red dress with an immense cleavage. She wouldn’t even have had to. Her face was beautiful enough to stand out, studded with a pair of sharp lime green eyes and full red lips that she wore puckered in a smirk.  
In another corner there was a young man, almost still a boy whom Ignis presumed to be even younger than himself. He was suggestively bent over the back rest of one of the chairs, wearing a highly questionable outfit that involved very tight leather hot pants.

Ignis swallowed.  
 _A night club._

His eyes nervously flickered over to Gladio, who just raised an eyebrow in return. ‘Told you so’, they were signaling, half in apology half in amusement. He should have thought this through before following the unknown man like would always have. But Ignis had been so tired of thinking today.

_Now that we’ve come here, might as well get warmed up with a drink and then leave at once._

“The place is all yours”, Ardyn gestured generously towards the room. “Should you need anything, let my little birds know. They will be more than eager to fulfill your requests.”

“My thanks”, Ignis replied stiffly. He adjusted his glasses and made a straight line to one of the stools at the bar. Walking through the room, he spotted a stage with pole a little further to the right. Reaching the bar seemed to take an eternity.

“Good evening, sweetheart”, the woman behind the counter greeted him, brushing a strand of her silver hair behind her ear in a well calculated movement. “Anything I can do for you?”

Ignis found himself irritated and caught between that all too intimidating pair of breasts and the drink menu in front of him. He didn’t really intend to engage in any sort of activities. That was not at all what he had in mind. A drink, a drink...

“If you could pass me a whiskey, please?”  
Somehow he managed his voice to sound grounded.

“Sure thing”, the woman smirked, theatrically turning around and bending down to fetch some of the ice. Ignis sighed internally. He should have gotten back to his apartment like he always did after all.

“Oh, hi there!”  
Ignis almost jumped at the sudden voice to his right and fingers that started drawing patterns onto his shoulder.  
“You here for the first time?”

It was the blond who had been lolling on one of the couches some minute ago. His eyes were covered in sparkles and Ignis could make out a lip piercing right below his lower lip. He was skinny and seemed to be very flexible, judging by the way he moved.

“Ah, I... indeed”, Ignis almost stumbled over his own words trying to keep his cool. There was no reason to get worked up. He could leave as soon as his drink was emptied.

“Aww, that’s cute”, the boy giggled. “First times are really exciting. We’ll make your stay worth the while, you’ll see.”

It was almost dizzying how fast he had managed to open up the first button of Ignis’ shirt. And where had his jacket gone?

“Prompto, you’ll scare him away. You can’t be that touchy with everyone.”  
The woman had put the glass onto the counter, slapping the skinny arms of the boy with a light hand. The boy, Prompto, only sticked out his tongue in response and wrapped his arms around Ignis’ neck instead.

“You know I’m a clingy guy, Aranea”, Prompto chimed.

Aranea only rolled here eyes and made another shoo-ing gesture with her manicured fingers before she pushed over the glass towards Ignis.  
“There you are”, she murmured in a velvet tone, the smirk not leaving her lips. “Don’t be shy, honey. I can see you got something in you.”

“Th-thank you”, Ignis managed, worrying to be strangled by Prompto’s arms and that Aranea’s breasts might just pop out of the dress, if she continued bending over the counter like that. It was not like he felt excited by either of them, just nervous about them doing things he had not come here for. He took a sip of his drink to cool down his overworked system.

“So...” Aranea playfully stuck her little finger to the corner of her mouth. “What brings you here? Looks like you’ve got a pretty decent job. Not the average type we get to see here, to be honest.”

Prompto untangled his hands from Ignis’ neck and chose to clasp his fingers around his thighs instead.  
“Yeah, totally! Whoa, he’s got a little muscle, Aranea! Aaah, that’s so cool!”

Aranea snorted.  
“Now don’t get too excited here, okay? We know what _you_ like, but that’s not the question here, right now, is it?”

Prompto whined but continued fumbling along the seams of Ignis’ suit trousers.  
“I knoooow. But what kind of things do you think he is into?”

Ignis swallowed and took another sip. That was not a conversation he was wanting to have.

“I don’t know, you could always ask?”

Prompto beamed at Ignis.  
“So, what do you like? Are you into into dancing or watching stuff? You don’t really look like the type of guy who likes doing things with toys. Hmm.... Oh! Don’t tell me you’re into bondage and stuff!”

Ignis almost choked on the liquor and he could feel his face turn bright red.  
“I, uhm, usually don’t tend to talk about such matters”, he managed under one or the other cough.

“Oooh, now that sounds like there are some sweet and dirty secrets buried behind those glasses”, Aranea grinned, leaning over just a bit more.

“Gnah! I wanna knooow!”

“Hey, how about you give him a little space? He’s uncomfortable.”

Just when Ignis feared he would end up either squeezed to death by Prompto or buried under Araneas genetical heritage, a husky voice spoke up, drawing his eyes to where it came from. A young man had entered the room from a door next to the bar Ignis had missed to spot in all the turmoil. If he hadn’t spoken up at all he might as well have perfectly blended in with the walls as he was fully dressed in black.  
Black leather boots with heels, laced tightly to slender legs with blue strings, running up the backside of his calves in a zig-zag pattern and stopping right under the knee. Skinny jeans peeked out from underneath, revealing strips of pale skin through the ripped fabric on his thighs. The fine mesh part of the long sleeved crop top was dangling right over his belly button but even so, he looked like the most properly dressed of this lot.

“Aww, come on man, you’re ruining the fun!”, Prompto exclaimed in protest but let go of Ignis’ thigh.

“There’s others coming in just a minute, Prom”, the young man pointed at the door with his thumb. “Saw them outside. Why don’t you give _them_ a hand with undressing?”

“Sounds like fun”, Prompto squealed, hurrying to the door.

The next moment he swiped a note over the counter.  
“They ordered drinks in advance, so I made a list just now. Could you get those ready for me, Aranea?”

Aranea chuffed, grabbing the paper with a rustle.  
“And there you go, taking all the fun for you alone again”, she grinned tauntingly as she straightened herself up. “Don’t get too full of yourself, pretty boy. You’re not the only one here.”

“Might be”, the man smirked at her as he discreetly looped his arm through Ignis’, pulling him up to standing. Ignis just let it happen.  
“But I think I’ve got just the hand for this.”

Ignis found himself guided towards one of the smaller tables in the corner of the room, offered a seat by his companion. The man had a little mole on his cheek and his dark hair was shimmering in an impossible multitude of colours, or so it seemed.

“I am sorry. Prom’s a real flurry and Aranea likes toying with our guests a lot. I hope they didn’t bother you too much... Ignis, was it?”  
He had remembered his name?

“Y-yes, thank you”, Ignis managed as the young man handed him the drink before sitting down right next to him.  
“I, uh... It is quite overwhelming.”

The man smiled.  
“Yeah, I can imagine.”  
He leaned closer, far too close for comfort and Ignis was about to jump right out of his skin when he felt slim fingers carefully running up his throat and - and closing the top button of his shirt.

_Oh._

“Prom always does this”, the man apologised, letting the palm of his hand linger for a moment under the shirt collar. A pair of steel blue eyes framed by a long set of lashes and just a hint of makeup locked with his.  
“Are you scared?”

“N-no!”, Ignis burst out almost too loudly, tuning down his voice in embarrassment.  
“No, it is just, uh... It is an unexpected visit.”

The man hummed, letting his hand travel over Ignis’ shoulder before pulling away.  
“Got caught in the rain, huh.”

“Y-yes”, Ignis blinked.   
“I was on my way back from work. It was pouring.”

“Hmmm.”  
The other let a pensive finger ghost over his lips.  
“Can’t have you catch a cold. You need something to warm yourself up. I’ll have Aranea whip something up. You wait here, I’ll go and get it for you.”

While Ignis was not sure if the term of ‘whipping’ was meant in the literal sense of the word, the young man rose from his seat and strode over to the counter again. He was skilled, walking on those heels and simply looked gracious doing so. The pants didn’t leave much room for interpretation and drew a very defined silhouette of a beautiful backside with almost feline character.  
Ignis found his eyes glued to him and cleared his throat to shake the stupor.

It didn’t take much time for him to come back. Other guests had entered the room, lingering around the bar and waiting to be served. They were acquaintances of the young man, as it seemed, because he was greeted by some of them with a kiss on the cheek. Ignis was slightly uncomfortable when he saw one of the guests groping his butt. It looked wrong.

The man came striding back with a crystalline cup of steaming beverage and placed it on the table next to Ignis glass of whiskey.  
“I asked Aranea to heat up the usual White Russian. Should get the warmth back to your body.”  
Shoving himself back to his seat, his backside passed almost at the height of Ignis’ face. Almost.  
“Ah, I forgot. I’m Noctis”, the man presented himself with a wry smile.

“Ignis, pleasure to meet you”, Ignis returned on reflex when he realised that Noctis already knew that. But his smile was unwavering as he took all the time to slowly cross his legs and nod in response.

“Pleasure’s all mine. So, what brings you here tonight, Ignis?”

Ignis looked at him from the corner of his eyes, afraid to stare at him too thoroughly. He might lose himself.  
“It... was by chance, to be very honest. I was on my way back from work and somehow... found myself here. I was looking for a place to spend some time before returning to my apartment.”  
He took a sip of the hot liquid. The coffee warmed his heart, the liquor his cheeks and Noctis’ thigh his--  
When did he get that close?

“Sounds like work is taking out a lot of you, huh?”

Another sip.  
“I should not be the one to complain. There simply is a lot to do and I’m certainly not the only one who is going through a rough phase.”

“We all have the right to complain once in a while, Ignis”, Noctis returned with a low voice. His hand found Ignis’ shoulder and he squeezed it in what could have been mistaken for compassion. “Everybody needs a little comfort in their life. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Ignis felt his heart pounding in his chest. He knew that the circumstances were everything but sincere, yet the truth buried behind those lulling flatteries was striking a chord. The loneliness had been crushing him, and he had just tried to lock it up in a box and push it aside, out of his reach. Noctis had pulled out that box without possibly knowing. It was fascinating.

He found himself timidly peering over to Noctis only to be met by his enthralling gaze. It made Noctis part his smiling lips.  
“Ah, you finally look at me.”  
He slid a little closer still, eyes alive and searching.  
“Tell me, what you want me to do, Ignis.”

Ignis found the air catching in his throat as Noctis’ breath tickled his neck. He said it was okay to search comfort. That he could tell him what to do. So it should be fine to ask. As long as he paid he could possibly ask for anything. There was nobody waiting for him anyway, so he might as well just--

“Alright.” Ignis’ voice was trembling a little as Noctis signaled him to whisper it into his ear.  
“Can I... can I ask you to just... just listen to me? Just for a while? I- I promise I won’t take up much of your time.”

Noctis pulled away, his face betraying his bewilderment.  
“Y-yeah, sure. Uhm, go ahead, I guess?”

Ignis took another gulp of his hot drink, feeling it burn down his throat and making way for the heat to rise into his cheeks.  
And then he talked. About the things that were happening at work, how he wasn’t able to handle the workload, the stress put on him from the upper ranks and how he had been staring up into the crying sky without even bothering to take shelter from the rain, wondering what was happening.

And Noctis was listening. He was searching for help with his eyes more than once and Ignis noticed but with his tongue loosened by the alcohol he tried not to care. He had come so far as to spend his time in a place like this, he would pay, no matter what to recompense his beautiful companion. He almost felt a little sorry for not being business as usual.

Handing over a generous amount of money - he couldn’t think of a better way to express both his gratitude and apology - he bid Noctis farewell. The latter guided him towards the door where he himself had entered the scene through. On the way outside, he could spot Prompto starting some sort of lap dance with the group he was entertaining, before the hustle and bustle quieted down. Ignis found himself in the hallway, a door to the right and a curved staircase to the left, leading up to a second floor. That one was for... different sorts of entertainment, he fathomed.

Ignis thanked Noctis once more, who waved at him with a half tired half dazed expression, and then he left.  
The few steps down, he put up his umbrella with lightened shoulders. What had he been getting himself into? It had been more than awkward but all that was lying behind the door in his back now.

Ignis turned around to see the main entrance of the club - not the back entrance he had somehow walked through when arriving. It had letters of not so bright neon hanging on the wall, yellow ones with a red-pinkish border. Seeing the place’s name provoked an incredulous laughter.  
It was called ‘ClockWork’, or at least it was supposed to be called that way. Fittingly enough, the illumination seemed to be broken. The ‘l’ could not decide if it wanted to stay on or flicker off, only to leave behind a much more indecent appellation, that conveyed nothing more than the club’s true nature.

When Ignis left he shook his head, still processing that he had made it in and out of this none the worse for wear. He was a lucky man. Yet, bizarre as it might sound, he couldn’t deny that this was the first time after months that he had felt somewhat _alive_.  
Ignis sped up his steps to run from those unwanted thoughts. The rain could have them.

He would turn his back on this one-off and never come back again.

Maybe.


	2. Chapter 2

“Didn’t expect to see you around here so soon again, handsome.”  
A slender hand slid a glass of liquor over the counter, brought to him in company of a smug decorated grin in ruby red.

“F-frankly spoken, me neither.”  
Ignis raised his glass and took a sip. To calm himself down. Not to get warmed up. The weather had been kind enough to spare him from any downpours after last time. Still he found himself in the same place, at the same counter, in company of the same wicked bar lady.

“You left quite a kind of impression here”, Aranea purred, bent over her bar. Just as last time. Probably just as always.  
“Came here right after work?”  
She tugged a little at his tie, playfully but not as forcefully as she had been attacking him when his feet had first brought him here. Then again, maybe it only appeared that way because Ignis knew what he had to expect.

“Indeed.”

A couple of days had passed by since Ignis’ first visit. Unintentionally, guided by the doorman himself and all of this induced by heavy rain. Today was different. Ignis hadn’t found the place by chance. He went here out of his very own will. Or, well...

It was not that anything had changed. The days were tiring as ever, cold and anonymous, only not when it came to accounting for one’s mistakes at work. Then it was all personal and nagging at his mind, filling the void that had emerged by sacrifice and commitment with unpleasantries. Ignis met them with the numbness he was used to, feigning indifference as best as he could to prevent from collapsing in front of his superiors.  
But when the office closed and countless pairs of well waxed shoes echoed in the building’s entrance hall racing towards home, he felt his facade crumble, threatening to expose the fragility inside. He didn’t want anyone to see this side of him. Most of all he himself didn’t want to see it.

His feet had carried him back to the ClockWork almost automatically. Something in him had been screaming ‘anything but home’ and Ignis had succumbed to it. Now he was here again, a normal man in a highly questionable surrounding that was anything but. Maybe that made him questionable as well.  
_Thrilling_ , he thought sarcastically as he took another mouthful of his drink, which was strikingly good.

“Couldn’t wait to get back to us, huh?”  
Aranea played around with his fringe, tugging one strand after the other out of his groomed hair.  
“Busy time at work, looking for fun here. There’s a lot of people like you.”

A lifted hand and uneasy eyes made her seize the touch with a playful pout. But at least she was decent enough to let him be - as far as one could call anything in these surroundings decent. Ignis’ gaze wandered over the room, observing and simply letting the impressions seep in. It was yet again a vibrant night with lots of drinks and bought affections, cloaked by the veil of night and cigarette smoke. He would have to air out his suit if he wanted to wear it tomorrow.

“Is it always that crowded?” The ice-cubes tinkled against the glass as Ignis moved it in a stirring motion.

“Not always, that’s for sure. But there’s busier and and not so busy days, just like anywhere else.”  
Aranea played with her sliver hair. “The real business is happening upstairs either way so it’s not important if it’s busy down here or not”, she winked at Ignis’ slightly flustered eyebrow twitch. So he had been right about his assumptions on the upper floor.

Further in the back the man called Ardyn, who most likely was the proprietor, cooed a pair of girls away from Gladio, who was casually leaning in the door, just as he had last time.  
“I’m deeply regretting that he is not on service, ladies. Not of that kind”, Ignis heard him purr. “But we do have a lot of beautiful people to choose from. Let me take you around.”

“They’ve been trying that ever since they came here for the first time”, Aranea explained before Ignis had even asked. “I told the boss it would be trouble to hire security with good looks, but he’s just the kind of guy who does as he pleases.”

So he was a bouncer then. Ignis’ eyes lingered on the muscular man, just a tad too long. Gladio noticed and winked back at him which made him startle. He returned a discreet nod before bathing his eyes in amber coloured liquid again.

“What? The type you’d have liked?”  
Aranea cocked out her hip and bent over the counter with a suggestive grin that made Ignis’ ears go red in response.

“C-certainly not! I was, in fact, just wondering about, well... the... personnel’s working habits. I suppose it’s quite challenging, in it’s.. very own way.” He ran his thumb along the edge of his glass.

“Aaw, is that how you ask about each of our special fields? You could’ve just asked head on without that small talk chit-chat, you know? That’s what we’re here for after all.”  
Trailing a hand over the counter, Aranea came to sit by Ignis’ side. The dress she wore was of a dark shimmering fabric tonight and revealed almost all of her thigh through a waist-high slit as she crossed her legs. Ignis wished she wouldn’t come that close to his face as she started pointing out some of the workers.

“So, you know our boss”, she pointed at Ardyn who had deemed it fashionable to wear a black feathered scarf tonight. “He’s basically taking care of everything here, running the business, looking after the customers and his underlings et cetera. I’ve never really seen him engaging with any of the folk here though.”

Ignis sipped on his drink. He wondered if Ardyn was too pricey, playing hard to get, or not into any of this at all. Maybe just the age. But then again he looked vital enough to-

Sudden cheers ripped his attention towards a corner of the room, where the blond young man performed a more than just daring dance on the little stage. The performance itself required quite some artistic skills and if it weren’t for the suggestive bends of his body and popping of his hips, Ignis would have been able to really give him credit for his show.

“Ah, that’s Prompto”, Aranea chuckled. “You met him last time. He’s really clingy and enthusiastic.”

“I... do remember, yes.”

“That little shortcake is the born entertainer. Haven’t seen anyone as flexible as him in my life. If the price is right, he’ll show you anything you want to see. I heard he’s doing toys and webcam sessions too lately. But don’t let him fool you.” Aranea held out a warning finger. “No touchy with Prompto. He’ll be all over you but you’ll have to pay quite well to actually get your hands on him in return. He’s pretty picky about it too.”

_Not that I was intending to..._

Aranea continued, her thick lashed eyes now roaming over Ignis.  
“I mean, I understand him. I’m not leaving my counter for just any customer either. They’ll have to meet certain... standarts.”

Ignis drew in a sharp breath as he could feel her breasts pressing against his side.  
“Th-that flatters me but I’d rather have another drink, if you please?”

“A pity you’re still so uptight”, she murmured into his ear before returning behind the counter with a smug grin.  
“Maybe you’ll change your mind sometime.”

He wouldn’t. Or at least he didn’t plan on doing so. Ignis hadn’t come here to end up like one of those regulars, seeking superficial amusement and the purchasable illusion of being wanted. An addiction that could bring a good man to ruin.  
Ignis looked into his half emptied glass. Why had he bought another drink when he wasn’t even finished with the first? _Hopeless._ But one could be disciplined only so far. There was always a breaking point. Maybe he had reached his tonight. But then again he might have only been running again.

Scanning the place he noticed.  
“What about the young man who has been here the last time? ... Noctis, I believe? I don’t see him around.”

Aranea gave off a suggestive sound as she slid over the fresh drink.  
“Oh, so _that’s_ how it is.”

“There _is_ nothing. I was merely wondering. He had a rather... charming way.”  
Some of the ice in Ignis’ glass collapsed into melted bits.

“Pretty boy is running on shifts. He’s not here every day of the week, always skips the weekends and has irregular business hours. Must have some special agreement with the boss.”

A hint of disappointment seeped into Ignis’ heart. A pity. He would have wanted to thank him for hearing him out some days ago and apologise for taking up his time with such trivialities, when he surely could make more money than just by listening to a loser on the verge of breakdown. And apart from the obvious business he was engaging in, he seemed to have good manners too. If they were not part of his game.

“He’s been here for not too long, a year maybe? But he has become popular very quickly. Easy thing when you got a face like that. Believe it or not, I saw him wearing a maid costume last week, by customer’s request, and he could really pull it off.” Aranea continued playing with her hair.  
”Well, he is that kind of mysterious beauty type. Very skilled and, rumour has it, very efficient. But you didn’t hear that one from me”, she winked.

Ignis downed the remains of his first drink, trying not to think too hard about what exactly the lady with the silver hair was talking about. A night club was a night club after all and would stay being such. He should really take his leave.  
“Can I leave him a note?” Mouth quicker than his head, an effect of the alcohol, no doubt, Ignis startled at his own words. Had he really asked this aloud?

The bar lady shot him an impressed look.  
“Yeah, as long as it’s not your phone number. We tend to keep the business relations where they belong.”

“O-of course. That was not my intention.”

“Then write away. I’ll make sure he’ll get it.”  
Aranea smirked, mocking him with a head shake before she was summoned for more drinks by a small group of newly arrived folk.

Ignis was relieved he could write without any prying eyes on him. He took out the little notebook he was always carrying with him and ripped a page out. Lamentable, really but he wanted to get his gratitude across somehow, without simply paying for his time like he already had. This was a matter of sincerity, not business.  
Simple words found their way onto the little paper piece, nothing too flashy or, heavens beware, something that might look like a miserable love letter from a secret admirer. Ignis checked them twice to be sure he didn’t leave any unintentional hidden messages between the lines and nodded. The cap of his fountain pen squeaked shut as he could see Aranea approach him from the corner of his eyes.

“Ah, Miss...”

“Aranea”, she smirked. “Done with the writing?”

“Y-yes. Could I ask you to-”

“Maybe that’s not even necessary anymore.”Aranea pointed to the entrance with her thumb.  
“Cinderella just arrived.”

Ignis stretched his neck to see past her and - indeed. There he was, coming through the door in an elegant strut, graciously and enthralling, just as the first time he had seen him. What a relief. Now he could tell him in person.

“You’re beaming, handsome.”  
Ignis blinked, shooting her a confused look.  
“Hey, pretty boy! I think you’ve got a visitor!”

Noctis turned around, eyes searching for a moment until he found him. Ignis could see it in the way his eyes widened a bit and the bewilderment playing around his mouth. The young man sighed, inaudible over the club’s noise but still he came over.

“You came back.”

Ignis’ eyes flickered over, quickly enough to still see Aranea wave before she left the two men on their own. Suddenly he wished the witty bar lady wouldn’t have left. It had felt more relaxed with her around. He licked his lips. When had they gotten so dry...?

“S-sorry to bother you. Again.”

His knee-highs creaked as Noctis sat down in front of him, catching his eyes with his own.  
“Oh, I don’t mind.” Feet were quickly to touch, Noctis’ tip of his boot casually playing with the hem of Ignis’ trousers. “You didn’t really wait for me.”

It had been ridiculous from the start. But Ignis had principles and this was simple common courtesy.  
“I suppose I wanted to take a chance.”

A husky laugh rumbled from Noctis’ throat before he connected with his eyes again.  
“The tip was generous the other night. You could have gotten more for that.”

Ignis caught himself getting lost in those eyes again as he reminded himself about the cause he had returned for. Averting his eyes he cleared his throat.  
“M-maybe. But I’m not here for... that. As... stupid as it might sound, I simply wanted to apologise for taking up the time you could have spent... more profitably. And then I owe you a word of gratitude... for your time and your ear.”

A smirk pulled up one end of Noctis’ mouth.  
“You paid. There’s nothing you owe me.”

“I still wanted to tell you.”  
This was beyond stupid, an act of a stubborn child and nothing more. Ignis held their gaze for a few moments before inclining his head and standing from the stool. Jacket over his arm he downed the drink, grimacing at the overdose of acrid and the flush of heat from the alcohol.  
“It meant a lot to me.”

Noctis looked uncomfortable, the crease between his eyebrows twitching in confusion.  
“Uh... yeah? Sure?”

No money could have compensated the relief it had brought to Ignis to simply talk and be listened to. Those watery blue eyes knew nothing of the value his actions had carried. Peculiar. That was the only word brightly engraved onto those irises, most certainly judging him. Ignis could feel the skin of his cheeks tingle underneath the surface.

“I... better leave now. Thank you again, Noctis. Good night.”

Ignis spun on his heel, leaving the necessary amount of cash on the counter of the gloating bar lady and a puzzled Noctis behind him. He didn’t miss to nod in a short greeting as he passed Gladio and hurried straight to the outside.

The cool air hit his face instantly, whacking him back into reality. Stray gravel crunched under his shoes as he walked, his back firmly turned on the ClockWork like he would never return. He hoped he wouldn’t. It was nothing more than embarrassing, he should have known better.  
A quick glance to his wristwatch brought up that nauseous feeling Ignis had grown accustomed to. Another day wasted, the next soon to come. Not much longer until he would hit his bed and drown in sleep, dinner already eaten if he was lucky. Ignis looked up into the black sky that didn’t seem to harbour a single star to wish upon. He wondered what he would have wished for as his steps carried him away through the night.

 

It was far too early when the alarm rang in the morning, at least that’s what it felt like. Ignis dragged himself up to seated, his head faintly spinning from the sudden motion. He could barely remember how he fell asleep but apparently he had deemed it wise to keep his shirt and necktie on.  
_To be fixed asap._  
Two fingers dragged down the tie’s knot, not bothering how it slid crumpling to the ground right next to the laundry basket, the shirt just following shortly after. The weekend would return order to the pile of mess.

A shower, shave and brush of hair later, Ignis fished for the cup in the sink. The water boiled while he was scrubbing the ceramic, ridding the white from its brownish collar of the day prior. Just like every day. Apartment door locked and keys inside a fist in his pocket Ignis took the elevator to leave the building. Despite having hung his jacket to catch air over night, the smell of cigarettes and desire was still clinging to him, persistently coated over his shoulders. He pulled the lapels closer to his face as he stepped out the sliding doors and made for the train station.

Sometimes Ignis thought he understood what must have gone through the mind of those tired souls that decided to end their lives on the rail. It was an escape, no doubt. Away from the draining daily routines that hardly left time to breathe. Away from the morning rush hours when the bodies of other people were closing in on oneself and luck was bad enough to have the wagon’s ventilation system out of order - an especially horrid situation when it had rained and the air thickened not only with the mixed scents of sweat and perfumes but also that unpleasant moisture. Those people were ridding themselves from it, for good.  
Not that Ignis would have taken this option into account. He was far too scared of acting and of the pain he would cause his family. But he felt like he understood.

The ever friendly announcement voice asked the passengers to step back from the doors and behind the line as the doors slid closed and the train continued his route, diligently delivering people to their destinations. There had been no suicide this morning and Ignis entered the office building just in time. Immaculate, as he was supposed to be. The lady next to him in the elevator was wiping away some crumbs from her mouth, refreshing her lipstick with the help of a pocket mirror, her reflection smiling as she closed it with a click. It reminded him that he had forgotten to buy breakfast on the way. His mind must have been elsewhere. A granola bar from the vending machine on his floor would have to do then.

Despite the early hour, the office was buzzing with the presence of people settling in for another day of work. A more or less organised mess of morning greetings and recapitulations of the night before. Many used to go for dinner and drinks after finishing work but Ignis had stopped wanting to join after the first few times. He had not been able to actually finish all of his tasks either.

Ignis sat down at his working space, another steaming cup of coffee and a granola bar at hand. He would have preferred the ones with chocolate coating but the dry fruits flavour had been the only option left.  
_Time they stocked up on variations..._

A glance around his desk made his stomach churn. There were some files piled on top of others that had not been there yesterday. So Ravus had been at work even earlier today. The little note on top read _ASAP_ in sharp capitals, written in red ink. Ignis sighed as he let himself drop into his chair and switched on his computer to start on whatever he had messed up again the day before.

“One of those cereal sticks again? Really digging them, huh.”

Ignis’ head turned and his eyes flew up to meet those of a co-worker, casually leaning against his desk with a goofy grin to his face. Nyx Ulric, a positive man with an incredible laidbackness no matter what situation. Ignis always wondered what had to be done to achieve such state of mind. They had been on neutral if not good terms since Ignis had joined the company and had claimed the vacant desk next to him. In the beginning, Nyx had helped him out more than once and Ignis was grateful to have established at least one connection in this office that wasn’t solely tied to success and effectiveness.

“I’d say they are convenient and have a reasonable nutritive value”, Ignis answered, turning the bar around in his hand. “Although the taste could be improved, if you ask me.”

“They taste like shit. The chocolate things are the only edible ones, barely.”

 _If there had been any_ , Ignis thought regretfully while taking another bite, only to down it with coffee. Now that Nyx had mentioned it, the snack seemed even dustier than it already had.

“So when did you end up leaving yesterday?” Nyx flopped down onto his seat undoing his tie with a grimace. “It always looks like the stuff on your desk keeps piling up. Everything okay?”

Ignis sighed, directing his eyes back onto the screen and his files.  
“It _was_ less when I left yesterday. But it looks like Mr. Fleuret had other plans.”

Nyx rolled his eyes.  
“Ravus... That guy needs to get laid.”

Ignis twisted his mouth at the commentary. Sometimes his co-worker was just a tad _too_ carefree, especially concerning their superiors.

“But really, Ignis, have you tried talking to him? Either he’s handing you too much or you’re not cut out for this job. And I don’t think it’s the latter. If you ask me, you’re probably the one with the highest workload right after him. Don’t you think that’s crazy?”

“I suppose that’s what you get when your work is not done properly”, Ignis returned grimly. And before he wasn’t sure to deliver his work as asked, he had no right whatsoever to complain. Everybody had it tough at the moment, not only him. Complaint was a privilege to be earned still.

“You sure about that?”  
Nyx raised a suspicious eyebrow. “Well, I won’t tell you what to do, you don’t need any babysitter. But you seem like the kind of person to bottle up stuff. Better talk before it gets the better of you, got it?”

“Yes. Thank you...”  
It was not like Ignis hadn’t already thought about talking. But then again: who could guarantee that it wouldn’t backfire on him? No, he had decided to keep work and private separate, even though the shrinking of his private part had grown alarming. Not alarming enough for him to truly care yet.

“See, what I mean is, even managers are human and make mistakes, alright?”, Nyx continued, gesturing over his coffee. “You can’t tell me Ravus hasn’t fucked up once in a while. I bet there’s some secret traumatic event in the past that-”

“Careful, you’re talking about my brother, Nyx.”

“Oh? The harmony police on patrol.”

A young woman had come up behind them, her blond hair tugged back into a layered ponytail. A little silver star pendant was dangling from her neck, reflecting bits of the office light as she approached them.

“Good morning, Lunafreya”, Ignis nodded into her direction with a brief smile before returning his eyes to the screen. He had no time for this, it would only slow him down, even if the two of them could be kind of charming.

“Good morning, Ignis”, she smiled widely and waved at him, before she turned to his co-worker. “Well, at least somebody has got to make sure that things run smoothly here. And, Nyx, would you mind putting on that necktie again, please? You know Ravus is going to freak out when he sees you like this.” Lunafreya chuckled at his displeased groan. “You know that I don’t make the rules.”

“Yeah, well then maybe try and talk you dear brother into getting rid of this penguin attire. Not like we’re having visitors stopping by every single day”, Nyx complained, fumbling his tie back into place. “I’m going to suffocate like this.”

“At least you’ll look presentable when you do.”

“Aah, come on, you just like seeing men in suit and tie. Sorry, but you know that suits and I don’t go along well, something always comes loose throughout the day. Have a look at Ignis instead. He’s sporting the look pretty well, don’t you think?”

Had it always been so hard to make sense of what was written in the documents? The letters seemed to blur out at their edges and Ignis’ own handwriting seemed foreign. Maybe if he-

“Ignis?”

Ignis jolted up as Lunafreya bent over his shoulder.  
“A-apologies, what did you say?”

He could see her scan over his desk, obviously stumbling over the pile of files and his pathetic excuse of a breakfast. She shot him a pitiful smile.  
“Is this the only thing you had this morning?”, she pointed into the direction of the cereal bar and sighed as Ignis confirmed her assumption.  
“You should eat more than just that if you want to work that hard.”

Ignis sighed. Lunafreya had always been a kind figure and at some point, Ignis had wondered if her and Ravus’ parents had been the same, or if there had been a divorce in the family prior to her birth.  
“I know. I simply missed the right timing this morning.”

“Again?”

His sigh was the only response. Why did she notice such things?

“You need to look better after yourself”, Lunafreya shook her head. “You’ll make us worry if you don’t.”

”Apologies.”

“Never mind. I’ll get you a cup of soup, so you don’t collapse before lunch break.”

Ignis nodded guiltily. He should really pull it together. If only he could muster up the energy.

“Caramel latte for me, Luna”, Nyx chimed in with a wide grin and his usual ‘I-leave-it-to-you’-fingergun.

Lunafreya rolled her eyes but couldn’t hold back a laughter.  
“You’re a terrible profiteer, Nyx Ulric. Be warned, I will have you pay for yours.”

“Yeah, sure.”

She waved once more before turning her back on them, headed for the office’s exit and the elevator. Lunafreya and Nyx were easy to get along with and the for the short time that Ignis’ mind wasn’t preoccupied with work or existential crisis, they usually managed to bring up a faint smile to his face. He was grateful for that. It always reminded him of how he thought normality would be like, once he had entered the working space, like better versions of himself. A self he could only be dreaming of from where he was now.

Ignis hadn’t turned back to his work for more than two minutes when a sharp call from across the room made him wince, again.  
“Sci _entia_!” It was Ravus, looking grim as always these days, standing in the door of his secluded office and signaling him to come over at once. What could it be...?

“Soup will be waiting for you when you come back. Relax, okay?”

Nyx’s well meant wink had only little effect as Ignis stalked towards the manager’s room with tense shoulders. He hated it being called in that fashion. A cadence that had nothing to do with amicability and made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. It had never meant any good to be summoned to Ravus’ room. Ignis prayed he would be able to withstand whatever it was that awaited him today.

“Mr. Nox Fleuret?”

Ravus tilted his head in defiance, eyes firmly set on Ignis.  
“I suppose you are aware of the work to be done. Your desk should have spoken clearly.” It was not a question and it felt like barbwire around his throat.

“Indeed.”

“Then I suggest you start working on it instead of inhibiting your co-worker’s efficiency with small talk.”

Ignis frowned.  
“Sir, I was not the one to start the conversation.”

“I know what I saw”, Ravus snarled. “And don’t you think I didn’t notice how you tried to catch my sister’s attention. Keep your hands off her, or you will be in real trouble, Scientia.”

“I haven’t asked her to-”

“I do. Not. Care. Now get yourself back to work immediately before the division breaks down over your lack of professionalism.”  
And with a snap, Ravus’ glare let go of him, the man it belonged to smashing the door closed in front of his nose. It took Ignis several breaths to steady himself and not give way to tears. Not here. How embarrassing would that be?

Back at his place, he only noticed absently that Lunafreya had returned with a steaming mug of corn soup. It was of a nice and creamy yellow colour and the scent left his empty stomach growl. Yet, he only nodded briefly, not daring to look her in the eye and truly express his gratitude before he continued immersing himself into the piles of data and forgotten mark-ups.

“Ignis...? Are you alright?”  
Lunafreya shot a quick glance over to Nyx, who was pursing his lips.

“He has just been summoned by your dear brother. Looks like he’s been panned for something.”

“I’m sure this must be some misunderstanding.” She turned to Ignis again. “Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No”, Ignis answered flatly, not diverting his eyes from his screen. “Don’t bother, Lunafreya, I will be alright. But if you two would excuse me, I have to catch up with my tasks.” He wouldn’t want to be a burden to them as well.

As he zoned in on his work, Ignis didn’t notice the worried looks his co-workers were giving him, only faintly registering that Lunafreya reminded him to drink the soup.  
Lost in a maze of numbers and correspondencies, some to be followed in Accordian, the hours ticked by, the hands on his wristwatch chasing each other relentlessly. Paper stacked on top of more paper, fingers running over a keyboard at high speed and phone calls in between a rub of strained eyes and groans over repeatedly made mistakes. 

By the time Ignis left for his late lunch break, the mug was still half full.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back in the race with enough peace of mind to continue voicing this little story!  
> Writing I had a bit of a struggle to get into everybody again, especially as this is a completely different environment from what I wrote before. I think by now I have gotten a grip on them and can deliver their best to you.
> 
> The threat of growing chapters is there and very real but I am still managing to keep the plot in 10 chapters. We'll see how this will turn out in the end.
> 
> I'd be thrilled to know what you think, as always and I hope you enjoy spending your time in my clumsy fantasy.


	3. Chapter 3

The plate was set down with a dull clink, accompanied by a ‘there you go’ from the man behind the counter. It was a little diner, nothing fancy but Ignis liked to come here from time to time. The menu was well balanced and the opening hours just convenient. Even when working late, just as Ignis had had to again, he was sure to get a decent dinner here.  
The owner of the shop, a man of medium height with an obvious love for his job always had a nice word for his customers. One day he had told him from his time when he arrived in Insomnia, the great and big city full of possibilities that was so different from where he had grown up in Galahd. Ignis had returned an affirmative nod. Tenebrae and Galahd, two totally different regions, sharing their only common trait in their different nature from the hustle and bustle of Insomnia.

Ignis took the plate and sat down in one of the booths to eat. The seats were already worn down, a little rancid and they creaked as he lowered himself onto one of them. He stared at his plate.  
A mixed salad with chicken skewers, fresh ingredients to freshen up his mind. The lush greens of lettuce and peppers combined with baby tomatoes, droplets of water still glistening on their skin, corn hiding under some leaves together with onion stripes and stray olives made the base on top of which the skewers were settled. The red flakes on the meat warned the eye of incoming spice, its intensity lessened by the lightly sweet flavour of the dressing. Just what Ignis needed after having pushed down a deep-fried something for lunch earlier this day.

The chicken was crispy on the outside, making delicious noises when Ignis’ teeth sank in to take a bite. It tasted like the crust was partly made with honey, a welcome counterpart to the spice. Ignis wished he could have appreciated it the way it was meant to be but to him the meat tasted no better than wood. Just the illusion of eating healthy had to be enough. He was so tired...

Sometimes it seemed unfair that Ignis was the one always staying late, catching up with the never ending tasks, trying to finish the ever piling up folders, documents and what else remained to be done. Nyx was always leaving on time, same as Lunafreya. But then again, maybe this was just what it was like to work in a successful company throughout one’s first year. Both his colleagues had already been working there when Ignis had started, so maybe at some point things would get easier.  
Looking at Ravus though lessened his hope of improvement. He was always working alongside him, staying late in his office, far later than Ignis himself. One of the reasons why Ignis’ workload seemed to be steadily increasing, threatening to bury him under its weight. So maybe that was just what it was like after all.

Maybe the sensation of chewing on pieces of wood was not too far fetched either. That’s just what it felt like, every day, diligently working, eating then sleeping, only to start the cycle anew. He was nothing more than a working termite, ever striving forward, swallowing whatever wood would come across without any distinct purpose or goal, just working for the sake of work itself.  
Ignis let the fork sink down and rested his head against the backrest.

“Hey, are you okay?”  
He turned his head to see the shop owner looking at him.  
“You look like you’re about to pass out. Need a glass of water?”

Ignis tried to shake his stupor as he slid off his glasses and ran a hand over his eyes.  
“That would be very kind.”  
The shop owner nodded and readied a simple glass of water for Ignis to get at the counter.

“Having a rough day?”, the owner asked.

“You could say so.”  
Ignis took a sip of the water. It trailed down his throat, leaving behind a chilly sensation all the way down to his stomach. At least he could still sense it. An improvement to the countless times he hadn’t been able to.  
“I see.”  
The owner looked at him with his arms akimbo.  
“Life’s not always easy but I’m sure you can talk about it with your friends. How about inviting one out on a drink? It’s not too late yet and tomorrow’s a national holiday. Might lift your spirits.”  
He slapped his palm onto the counter, throwing an encouraging smile at Ignis. “And looks like you could need that.”

Ignis’ eyes trailed after him, still a little dazed. So was it that bad already? But whom was he trying to fool anyway? Ignis knew that a breakdown was imminent, he could feel it linger in the back of his mind for a longer span of time. He just never had cared to admit it. Failure had never been an option, not even to be considered.  
 _A drink doesn’t sound too bad_ , he thought as he returned to his booth. Ignis finished his meal unceremoniously, hoping to be able to come back when his taste buds were in a better mood. It was unjust not to enjoy the owner’s cooking skills. They deserved better. Ignis thanked the owner for the food and turned his back on the little restaurant, the owner’s good wishes seeing him out.

The man had been right, it was not that late yet. Half past nine was a reasonable hour to have a glass of something and the thought of it was rather appealing. At least it would be better than making straight for the austere living space. Ignis wasn’t too eager to try making it more comfortable in there tonight. Too much effort for a place that didn’t feel quite right. But a drink sounded just nice.

Embarrassingly enough, the first place coming to his mind was none other than the dubious establishment he thought he had left for good. There absolutely were different places to go for that purpose but Ignis wasn’t up to try anything new tonight. He wanted familiar surroundings even though strangely enough in this case that meant reentering that brothel. At least Ignis could be sure to be given privacy there, far away from work and certainly with a pair of ears at disposition, even if he had to purchase them.

The night was fresh, a soft breeze occasionally blowing over the pavement, chasing fallen leaves and pieces of plastic wrappings somebody had discarded carelessly. Ignis pulled the lapels of his coat closer as he reached the vicinity of the district the said establishment could be found in. To shield himself from the cold, that was what he pretended. Neon lights were catching in the remains of water gathering in puddles that proved it had rained in the afternoon. The play of vibrant colours in the muddy water reminded Ignis of something beautiful he had forgotten about.

Not being lost in the streets and actually knowing where he was going made Ignis arrive at his goal faster than he had remembered. It was not long until he reached the stairs to the entrance of the ClockWork, the ‘L’ flickering nonchalantly as ever.  
 _What a convenient joke indeed_ , Ignis thought as a bashful smirk made its way onto his lips. He felt thrown back in time, when he was still a child and stayed awake to read under the blanket in secret, when his parents had told him to go to sleep. It was the same kind of secret shenanigan, exciting because it felt forbidden. Or in this case, was looked down upon. Ignis pushed aside the thought that he was seeking comfort in such a place as he opened the door and entered the building that smelled of cigarettes and heavy perfume.

“Yo.”  
Gladio was leaning in the small hallway and waved two extended fingers at Ignis in greeting.  
“Really came to like it here after all, huh. Do I need to feel bad about that?” 

“Discussable under the point of morals but you should be profiting from it financially, if I am not mistaken?” Ignis put on a wry grin and shrugged with his shoulders. “From that point of view, you should be happy about my recurring visit.”

“You really are a weird guy”, Gladio laughed, hand already on the doorknob. “Don’t blame anything on me though, got it? I’m just doing my job here and I warned you.”

“And I chose not to care enough, yes, I do remember.”

Gladio leant a little closer. His necklaces were entangling themselves in the movement and Ignis could make out a wave of a strong aftershave.  
“So, got a favourite yet?”

Ignis pursed his lips and tried shooting a glare at Gladio but he was not sure he succeeded.  
“I am not here for _that_ kind of ‘service’.”

“Still, doesn’t mean you can’t have a favourite”, Gladio shot back with a wink. “Nothing to be bothered about. Just happens naturally, you know?”

Gladio’s words brought forth pictures of the people Ignis had been in contact with to his inner eye. The owner seemed to be very eccentric but Ignis did not talk to him sufficiently to make out a clear image of him or if he could be trusted. He was more a figure of authority in these rooms and not someone Ignis would call ‘favourite’. Then there was the blond boy, whose name started with a P if he recalled it right, who was definitely not on the list. Or, well, without being rude, the boy had been a little too enthusiastic, too clingy and Ignis still felt a twist in his stomach, thinking that he must be younger than himself.  
Aranea’s company was something he could live with. She was beautiful and seemed to have wits behind those thick lashes of hers, which made Ignis wonder what had brought her to this place. Talking to her was carefree enough, if it weren’t for her provocative body language... For the fact that she was trying to please, Ignis remained unexpectedly immune to her approaches. They only made him feel uncomfortable, if anything.  
And then there was Noctis, the black haired young man with those curious and deep blue eyes... Despite all circumstances Ignis had been at ease around him, getting enough air to breathe and not feeling overwhelmed. He knows that Noctis too is looking for clients and that he must have his very own way to do so. Maybe it was just exactly what he was doing with Ignis as well. Still Ignis thought that there was more to it, something behind the handsome face.

“Hah, so you do”, Gladio teased as Ignis’ ears went red, spreading their colour in faint read spots around his eyes. He was rewarded with a defensive glare of green, which didn’t stop him from chuckling.  
“Alright, alright, keep it easy. I won’t ask you to spill. But it’s good to see that there’s still some life left in you. Wasn’t quite sure when I first picked you up. Better keep some of that energy, uh...”

“Ignis”, he sighed, fumbling with the keys in his pocket.

“Ignis, right. Sorry, it takes some time before I can remember names. Now, enjoy yourself.”

Gladio seemed to be a good man too. A little too flirty perhaps but good at heart.  
 _Of course, they are human. It’s merely a profession..._ An unlucky one, at least for some of them, but they were not less human than Ignis himself. What should have been an obvious fact reassured him as he stepped into the wide room with the bar, not without thanking Gladio for holding the door. He caught the tall man shaking his head, laughing as the door fell close again. Was he really being that weird?

“Ignis, dear!”

Ignis flinched in surprise. It was the owner, tonight’s outfit being a terrific black fringe cape over an actually not too distasteful combination, who strode towards him.  
“G-good evening.”

He was quick to lay a friendly arm over his shoulder and guide Ignis into the room.  
“Aah, sweet, sweet surprise on your face. You did not think I forgot who you are, now, did you?”

“I... must admit I did not expect this. Pardon me but-”

“The name is Ardyn”, the owner purred. “Do not fret, most of the people have to ask a second time. But in the end, they all remember. So will you.”

Ignis swallowed at whatever glimpse Ardyn had just revealed of himself. His timbre had turned determined and his honey gaze piercing for just a second but that second had been enough. There were depths to this man that could easily turn into an abyss. Better to keep in with him.

“Apologies, I-”

“Oh, please, Ignis, there is no need for that. Now, tell me, what is it you are after tonight?”

At this hour of the day, the ClockWork was busy, most of the sofas were occupied with groups of equally men and women in search for amusement. A high-pitched laughter from one corner of the room merged with the murmurs of sweet nothings and the background music. The scenery felt like snapshots of somebody else’s life, lined up and played too rapidly to keep track of what was actually happening. Ignis decided he liked the earlier hours better.

“A... drink, first of all, if that is not too much to ask”, he answered, a little dizzy from the noise.

“You know we’re not a drinking club”, Ardyn returned, his hand subtly increasing its pressure on Ignis’ arm. It was enough for Ignis to understand.

“I am aware.”

“Well, in that case...”  
Ardyn let go of him, the sudden loss of his arm’s weight on Ignis’ shoulder more noticeable than he had thought.  
“I am sure Miss Aranea will take good care of you. I am no stranger to the look in her eyes.” As playful as his tone was, Ardyn’s eyes were sharp, observing everything that was going. They spoke of curiosity too. Maybe he was questioning, if Ignis actually considered have a look into a different kind of menu than the one at the bar this time. A pricier, spicier one. Ignis must have been just as unreadable to him as it applied the other way round.

Ignis slipped away with a word of gratitude, eyes always flickering back to the brothel owner until he had reached the bar. Ardyn had not looked away once and he could still feel those eyes burning into his back.

“Look who we have here. I wondered when you’d be showing up again.”

The stool squeaked as Ignis pulled it closer to the counter.  
“So it was a matter of time, not of eventuality?”

Aranea pulled her red mouth into a smug grin, flashing white teeth like pearls between her lips.  
“Yeah. I was pretty sure you wouldn’t leave it at that. So I’m curious... Is it because you changed your mind about our little chat or are you here for what I think you are?”

“I don’t know what is on your mind, but I would appreciate if you stopped your assumptions and just brought me a drink”, Ignis snapped back, harder than intended. He sighed.  
“Please.”

The bar lady only raised an amused eyebrow, shrugging it off.  
“Harsh words coming from a soft man like you. Sure leaves room for imagination.” 

Ignis gave up, both hands raised. Soft. Just another synonym for being weak. Aranea was not so far off with her judgement. Weakness was what had brought him here in first place and weakness was what had made him come back.

Aranea slid over the filled glass. The light was catching in the ring she wore, sending multicoloured sparkles across the wood of the counter. It could have been imagination but Ignis had the impression that her ‘bending over the counter’ was a lot less suggestive than it had been the times before.

“Can I ask you a question, handsome?”

“Certainly.”

She rested a hand on her hip.  
“You know what place this is and you didn’t just come in on accident, right?”

Ignis sighed and took a sip from his drink. The burning trail it left down his throat was soothing. Was he really being that out of place to be checked on the same thing thrice?  
“No, I am here out of free will.”

Aranea didn’t believe him, the wry twist of her mouth gave her away. She probably hadn’t intended to hide it either way.  
“And still you’re only stopping by only to have a drink. Here.”

“Correct.”

“Huh.”  
She shook her head, widening her grin. Ignis noticed her face to be very rich in expressions and it somehow made him smile.  
“Why would you bother coming _here_ of all places to spend moneys on drinks you could have for less at any other place?”

Ignis tilted the glass in his hands, observing the way the light shifted on the liquid’s surface. The answer was laughable, but maybe it wouldn’t be as bad coming from a ‘soft man’ like he was.  
“Company, I suppose.”

Aranea’s face fell before she burst out into laughter, hardly able to hold herself back. The heads around them turned and before Ignis could process what happens, the bar lady had grabbed him by his necktie and pulled him over the counter.  
“Just play along here for a moment. I need to keep my appearances.” Her voice was low and clearly suppressing any further outbursts through clenched teeth whereas her face looked like she would jump him any moment. Ignis’ eyes flew around the room in panic but the other guests turned their heads back on what they had been at before the interruption.

“Shit, you almost made me lose composure, four-eyes. Can’t have that”, she shook her head as she let him go. “I have an image to keep.”

Ignis fumbled with his tie, confused about the rash action he wouldn’t have thought Aranea to be capable of. An image to keep? Well, he certainly would not try to ruin it, whatever that image was.  
After two attempts to rearrange it, he settled for taking the tie off completely. Who would care here either way?

“But really, are you serious?”, Aranea took up the thread again. “About that company stuff?”

He pursed his lips, eyes fixed in his drink hoping not to cause any more ruckus. He already had enough for one night.  
“It’s the only plausible explanation.”

Aranea shook her head.  
“You could pass for one of those tragic author figures, who are looking for their muse in the weirdest surroundings. You don’t happen to write by chance?”

“Not exactly the worst ‘image’. I could live with that. But no, I don’t.”  
Maybe he should consider to. 

“Huh.”

The conversation broke off as Aranea was summoned to take care of other liquors, her dress sparkling with every motion. Ignis thought it would look better without all those countless sequins on it. But it had been her choice to make.  
Somewhere in the back of the room, Ignis’ eyes met with Ardyn’s, who sent a quick wink into his direction. Ignis lowered his gaze back to his drink. They were really trying hard to persuade- no, they were just working hard. Seeing it that way lifted some of the strange magic the place seemed to hold. There was nothing mystical about this place, only closets full of skeletons that would stay unknown to anybody walking in and out. Surely there were struggles behind the veils of glitter and painted smiles, hardships clad in their very own armour. They were not that much different from Ignis himself. 

And those who came here to seek out the true purpose of this club? Most of them seemed to be respectable people, needy in their very own definition. At a closer look though, there were quite some who seemed to be forgetting the lives they had outside of this glitter world. The wedding band on their hand proved so. Ignis thought them to be the despicable ones. They had it all, so why would they risk it? What were they searching for?

“What’s with that face?”

Ignis blinked himself back to reality.  
“Ah, I was simply lost in thoughts.”

Aranea hummed, unimpressed. “You should stop doing that. People at your age shouldn’t look that grim.”

Ignis sighed and took another gulp of liquor. Not that he didn’t know.  
“We all wear our masks, Miss Aranea. I have my reasons.”

“How poetic. Care to share those reasons?”

“For the sake of my dignity, I prefer not to. Some things are better off kept to myself.”

Aranea scoffed.  
“Alright, I get it. You’re set on who you want to share your thoughts with, huh? So that’s how it is.”

Ignis’ eyes shot up to frown at her in confusion.  
“I cannot quite follow.”

“Come on, don’t be shy. You’re here for him”, she grinned. “Pretty boy. No need to deny it, I saw how you let your guard down around him.”   
She laughed. “What’s with that ‘oh-my-god’ look, handsome? Do you think I didn’t remember how you poured out your heart? And then came back only to apologise? It was quite a show.”

Embarrassment was showing with an infuriating promptness and weakened the glare Ignis had meant to throw at her.  
“I had my _reasons_ to why-”

“Yeah, yeah.” Aranea stopped him with a single wave of her hand. “Keep those reasons. Looks like we already have a perfect fit. I think he’d like that attitude of yours.”

Ignis glanced around, frantically looking for any sign of Noctis in fear he might have overheard anything. Gladly enough he should remain unsuccessful. He wouldn’t want him to think ill of him, or get any other weird impression. Albeit being ‘soft’, he was a respectable man. But what did it matter...? Ignis shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Don’t worry, pretty boy is _busy_ at the moment.” Aranea flicked her head up with a wink.

Upstairs. The thought alone sent a pang through his chest. To think that Noctis, that gracious and well mannered young man was ‘at work’ right now made him grit his teeth. Ignis couldn’t help but feel bad about it, flames raging under his cheeks. _It’s his choice_ the voice of reason echoed in his head, trying to rationalise. But what if it wasn’t? There was no hint for that but thinking about the possibility was unsettling.

“You’re frowning again, handsome”, Aranea remarked.

“Apologies.”  
He cleared his throat, wrapping both his hands around his glass, as if holding on to it would make anything better.

“That’s just how it goes. You better reconcile with that idea or you’ll hurt yourself. Business is business. But don’t tell the boss I said that. He wouldn’t be pleased if he knew how I’m talking to you.”

Said boss was just sitting on a chair that stood in a little secluded corner, watching the scenery. The piercing gaze from before was gone.  
“Can I ask you an honest question, Miss Aranea?”

“As long as you don’t expect me to answer”, she returned, unscrewing the cap of a new bottle of Gin.

“Are you enjoying what you do?”

Her hand stilled and her light eyes hung over his face in a meaningful moment of silence. The smile she flashed didn’t touch her eyes.  
“We all have our reasons.”

Ignis looked down again. That had been more than clear enough. He wished he didn’t ask.  
The conversation stopped there, most likely due to his tactless question and Ignis was left to his own thoughts again. What did he expect but exactly this? Did he really think that everything was ‘just alright’? Maybe he had the wish for it to be that way, which it obviously wasn’t. A dark world, hurting all the same. And coming here for comfort? Honestly, what had he been thinking...?  
He glanced at his watch, deeming it late enough to take the train back to his apartment when he heard Aranea hiss under her breath.

“Oh no, not again...”

Ignis followed her figure as she scurried out of the bar, passing some of the customers who seemed more than happy about that. She was headed for the entrance where-  
 _Oh._  
He inhaled sharply and sensed his muscles tense up at the sight of Noctis, who had just reentered the hall. He looked changed, shoulders slumped and a face devoid of expression, dull eyes staring into a non existent void. Eyes that Ignis had grown to know way too well. There was not much mystery left to hide that he was broken.

He could see how Aranea was talking insistently, occasionally shaking Noctis by the shoulder. It looked like she was scolding the young man. It hurt to see.  
Aranea dragged Noctis towards the bar, one guiding hand on Noctis’ hip. “I told you, I’m fine”, Ignis could hear him protest, trying to shake her off. “But you don’t look like it!”, she hissed back, before she made him sit next to Ignis with a concerned look in his direction. She seemed to be both warning and apologising to him, at least that was what came across.

Against all of his efforts not to look at him and give him some personal space, Ignis ended up peeking at Noctis from the corner of his eye anyway. His makeup looked like it had just been freshly applied, skin tone too smooth and eyeline too crisp and he smelled of a heavily scented lotion or shampoo. It was highly uncomfortable considering his posture.

“You shouldn’t come here when you’re not ready”, Aranea slammed a glass of something onto the counter in front of him. “How many times have we discussed this already?”  
Noctis only shrugged in apathy before sipping on the beverage. If looks could kill, Aranea would have successfully murdered the young man by now. After a quick glance around the room she waved Ignis to come closer.

“Listen, sweetheart”, she murmured into his ear. “Can I ask you to keep him company for a moment? I promise I won’t ask again but I need to talk to Ardyn right now and I don’t want him to engage in anything rash while I’m gone. Do you understand?”

Ignis’ eyes flicker to Noctis and back to Aranea.  
“Miss Aranea, what-”

“Please. I know you mean no harm and that you’re not one of those egoistical bastards who take advantage of their situation. Just this one time.”

Ignis swallowed but he could see the urgency in her eyes. He didn’t know about the other clients but he was sure about himself being righteous. With pursed lips he nodded, earning a soft squeeze of gratitude on his arm before Aranea snaked her way through drunk laughter and false pleasantries.

What was he supposed to do? The situation seemed grave enough and Noctis’ glass was already almost emptied. Would he stand up and look for his next target when he had finished? Didn’t he just come back from... Ignis’ heart hammered in his chest but there had to be _something_ he could do.

“G-good evening, Noctis.”  
Oh what a glorious start.

Noctis turned his head, pulling up a slow grin to throw at him. His eyes stayed dull, a face torn in two. There definitely was something wrong with him.  
“Oh, hey, it’s you. You were here the other day.” His finger trailed over the rim of his glass.  
“What’s on your menu tonight?”

_Think Ignis. Think._  
“I uh... have been waiting for you.”

Noctis huffed.  
“Sweet. Try again. You’re not really up to this.”

Ignis bit his lip. That was right, it was a lie. Probably.  
 _Keep talking. Make him stay._  
“Well... I was... hoping you’re available tonight.”

“Let me guess.” Noctis crossed his legs and tilted his head. “You wrote poems you want to read out or something?”  
This was a punch. The sarcasm in Noctis’ voice made Ignis wince. Noctis let out a flat chuckle.  
“Sorry, but I can’t take that tonight, too much head involved, you know. I’m up for a different kind of pass time, so, if you’d excuse me?”

“N-no, wait!”  
Intuition was faster than consideration as he reached out to grab Noctis by his wrist, keeping him from leaving. The young man’s half haughty smirk vanished, trading places with an irritated frown.

“Let go”, Noctis ordered and yanked his arm to free it from Ignis’ grip. “I don’t want to cause a scene and neither do you. So now let go of my arm.”

_Don’t panic._ Ignis inhaled sharply, trying to keep his voice low and calm. He had to keep him here, not only because Aranea told him so but because it felt wrong for him to leave. He couldn’t just leave.  
“Please, listen to me.”

“I thought I just told you that _I don’t want to_. Now hands off or-”

“Gentlemen, is there a problem here?”  
The owner’s voice made the two young men jerk their heads and Ignis instantly released Noctis’ wrist. He could see Noctis’ mouth twitching as he lowered his hands and looked to the ground. At least his eyes looked less hollow, alive though miserable. Something felt off and tugged at Ignis’ heartstrings. He didn’t know what to say and shot a helpless look at Aranea, standing beside the tall man. She gave a small nod.

“Noctis, darling”, Ardyn purred, “you do look a bit exhausted. How about you take a little break and come back later, yes?”

The young man bit his lip, scratching his arm.  
“I already did. I’m fine, good to go.”

“Noctis. I think you should take better care of yourself. Now. If you please?”  
There it was again. The little edge in Ardyn’s voice, the kind that could creep up your neck and right into your mind. Effective in its very own way, almost a voice of conscience. Noctis didn’t budge but clearly felt uncomfortable.

“Do as he says, pretty boy”, Aranea joined in with an urgent tone. “We all know where that led the last time.”

“I got it, okay?”, Noctis snapped back in defense. “Look, I’m fine, okay? And I’m already on my way to my next client, so could you _please_ let me?”

Ardyn raised an eyebrow over puckered lips at his claim.  
“And who would that be? I know your schedule, darling, you can’t tell me-”

“I claimed him.”  
Three heads turned into Ignis’ direction, shooting him looks that ranged from incredulous to intrigued. _Don’t back down now_.  
His heart was thumping hard as he slid his hand behind Noctis’ back to rest it on his hip. He felt Noctis flinch at his touch but at least he didn’t turn him away. Ignis could feel the slender hipbone shifting under his palm.  
“I was just asking him if... we could start our session immediately.”

Ardyn squinted, trying to see through what was going on in Ignis’ mind. He hoped the owner wouldn’t discover the intensity of his pulse.  
“Is that so?” Ardyn turned to Noctis. “I don’t think Noctis was assessing his capacities well enough, so I am afraid, I must ask you to withdraw your request, Ignis. Aranea?”

While Ardyn was busy giving Aranea new instructions, Noctis shot Ignis an irritated look.  
“What’s this about?”

“I changed my mind.”  
He stepped towards the owner, letting Noctis slip beside him. “Ardyn, I insist. I will pay double if I must.”  
Whatever situation he was getting himself into, it would take a lot of courage to pull through. Why had he thought this to be a good idea?

Ardyn pressed his lips together and seemed to be considering. He played with some of his fringes dangling from the shoulders as he spoke up.  
“Aranea, what do you say?”

Gazes were flickering between them and the awkward tension that had emerged out of the blue and for a reason, Ignis could not make out. He held eye contact with her for some long seconds, trying not to waver before she answered with a sigh.

“Guess it should be fine. I don’t think there’s much to worry about when it’s him.”

Ardyn sighed. “Alright then.” While his tone remained unwavering he pinned Noctis down into place with only his eyes. Ignis could feel him moving closer in on him.  
“Noctis, I trust you to provide only the best for Ignis. Make sure that his time here is worthwhile.”

“Y-yeah. Sure”, Noctis stammered in return.

Ignis could feel a push on the small of his back and he let himself guide, slipping past between the owner and the bar lady. Aranea still whispered some spare words into Ignis’ ear before he could leave the room.  
“Didn’t think you’d really be one for that. Please, don’t be one of those bastards and be gentle with him, okay?” Her eyes spoke of worry but Ignis didn’t have time to ask what all of this was about.

They left the hustle and bustle of the main room and into the staircase, where Gladio briefly turned around to flash Ignis a wide grin and gave him a thumbs up. It only seeped in when they entered one of the rooms, lights dimmed low and a comfortable looking double bed right in the middle. The room didn’t have windows and a wallpaper that reminded Ignis of old mansions belonging to royalty. Everything was looking too clean, from the pristine sheets to the shining ash tray.

He had bought Noctis. For whatever reason it had seemed to be a good idea, he had. What was he going to do?

“Man, you can be really eager if you want to”, Noctis dragged the words out while the lock of the door fell into place with a metal click. “Maybe I underestimated you.”

“Uh, well, you see-”

“Sshh...”  
Noctis lifted one finger to press against Ignis’ lips. “There’s no need to justify yourself now, Ignis. That’s not what we’re here for.”

Every step Noctis made forward, Ignis was pushed one step back until he hit the lower end of the bed. He collapsed easily to sit on the mattress, Noctis bending in to shove a knee onto his thigh. It was dizzying how fast he found his glasses snatched from his face and the first button of his shirt plucked open.  
“I don’t know what exactly changed your mind, but I’ll prove I’m more than just capable.”

Ignis tried to get a hold of Noctis’ nimble fingers but they were too quick to be caught.  
“N-Noctis, what is this about?”

Cheek brushed cheek as Noctis dove for Ignis’ ear, relentlessly continuing to rid him of his shirt.  
“Proving that I can do it. That they’re wrong. But that’s none of your concern.” Lips fluttered against his throat as Noctis worked his way down to the collar. “Don’t think, Ignis. Relax.”  
Ignis shuddered as Noctis’ hand came down on his chest with a low chuckle.  
“Wow, someone here is nervous. Don’t worry, you’re in good hands now.”

“Noctis, I-I don’t think you understand-”

“Don’t talk now. I’ll make you feel good.”  
Noctis’ hand wandered along Ignis’ ribcage, his fingers bouncing off every bone until they reached the softer mid-section and started fumbling around the waistband of his trousers.  
Ignis found enough will to focus and brought his own hands forward to sandwich Noctis’ face and firmly pull him up. A look into his eyes showed him that Noctis was absent again, his words working disturbingly isolated, phrases learned by heart taking place where a mind should be present.

“Noctis, stop!” Ignis almost yelled under his quickened breath. That’s not what he had come for. But a gaze into those dull pupils, the mirrors of a broken soul brought it back all to clearly. Earlier, when Noctis had walked through the door, Ignis had been shockingly reminded of himself, of his own reflection he saw every morning in the mirror and in the meticulously clean glass surfaces of the office building. Those were the eyes of somebody who was suffering, not only loneliness but a life devoid of purpose. Exhaustion to the brink of killing one’s soul, trying not to feel it. It hurt.

“You’re not chickening out, are you?”

“I-I am not here for this.” The throbbing in his throat made it hard to speak as those eyes squinted at him.

“What’s the big deal then? You could’ve just let me carry on with my stuff. I told you I’m not up for chit-chat, so why meddle? Do you enjoy throwing your money out of the window or what?”

“Because I didn’t want you to ‘just carry on’”, Ignis returned flatly. Scary to think that he could speak from his heart so easily. When was the last time he had?  
“It felt... wrong to let you.”

Black brows drew together in a frown, bewildered and almost angry. That was still better than the mask of indifference Noctis had put on display. The young man rose up to standing in front of him.  
“What’s that about?”, Noctis almost spat, looking down on Ignis on the bed before him.

The room was well heated, for obvious reasons but still, Ignis pulled the loose lapels of his shirt together with a nervous fist. He didn’t want to be exposed like this.  
“I-I’m sorry, I can’t quite explain but... I think I know how you feel.”

“What?”  
Noctis seemed to be back with himself, glaring at the peculiar stranger who had tricked him in a way he hadn’t expected. Ignis already felt sorry for doing so.

“Noctis, you seem changed. Did something happen to you?”

“We’re not touching personal subjects here. Like I said, I’m fine. Are you done talking now?”  
Noctis crossed his arms in front of his chest, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, eyes to the ground.

“You’re lying. I know that look in your eyes better than you think.”

“The heck you do!” Noctis yelled, anger turned to fury, a wild animal lashing out at the trap it has been caught in.  
“Do you know how weird that sounds?”

Ignis swallowed. This was growing into a full-fledged argument. Hopefully he wouldn’t cause any damage with what he had started. But he couldn’t just let him be. He just couldn’t.  
“I am aware how this must sound to you. But.. you made me worry about you. You looked so... lost. And knowing that... I-I mean... right now you just-”

“What?! Yeah, I just fucked with a guy, so what?! That’s what I do! What’s your business with me?!”

The bluntness of his words were a slam right to Ignis’ face. He had known what this had been all about, understood what Aranea had been hinting at. But hearing it like that was striking harder than he had thought. And seeing Noctis’ reactions, raw and uncontrolled strengthened Ignis’ assumption.

“I... couldn’t just let you be like that. I wanted to help you. I thought that maybe if you talk about what happened-”

“Yeah, then what?” Noctis snapped. “If talking could solve all of my problems I wouldn’t be here in the first place! You just walk in and decide to barge into my life? Telling me that you care even though you don’t know me? Do you know how creepy that is?”

No, that was not it. Ignis knew how strange this must have sounded and he could not even explain what had moved him to act the way he did. An instinct that snapped into a connection of sorts.  
“Then let me get to know you. I’m sure you-”

“That’s sick, Ignis! You’re just one of those people waltzing in and thinking they are special, thinking they’ll get special treatment and fucks for free just because they’re being nice! Tell you what, you won’t!”

Ignis stood, two fists at his side and a glare down into Noctis’ eyes. His makeup was flaking at their corners.  
“That’s not who I am, Noctis. And I refuse to be seen that way.”

“You can’t even prove me wrong”, Noctis hissed back with a defiant tilt of his chin.

“You’re right, I can’t.”

The two men just stared at each other, blue fury clashing with turmoiled green as the accusations lingered heavily in the air. Whatever silly thought Ignis had had - protecting Noctis from having to put his body to use for work, keeping Noctis from falling apart because he thought to have seen a reflection of himself in him, finding someone who would not judge him or mind him sharing his fears - he didn’t expect it to lead him where it had. Suddenly it seemed presumptuous to think he could have changed anything. Who was he, indeed?

Ignis broke their eye contact and quickly buttoned up his shirt before gathering his glasses from the sheets. They made him see all to clear that Noctis was out of place here, just as much as he was. Lost, in a different way.  
“I don’t know what is hurting you but I know what it feels like to be hollow. And I think you know too.”

“ _Get the fuck out_!”

He wordlessly slipped on his jacket before doing as he was asked. The wooden floor creaked as Ignis turned around on the door sill. Noctis was not only furious. He could see his shoulders tremble, his lips quiver. Noctis was still fighting with something other than his unexpected meddling. Compared to his earlier apathy, this was still proof enough that he was alive, even if it was not the best coping mechanism. Maybe Ignis had been able to do that much. He averted his eyes to hide his concern. 

“I would loathe to see it break someone like you.”

And then he left, walking through the corridor without paying attention to the loud thud in the room he just had turned his back on and the muffled yell coming from the inside. All of those sounds were swallowed by someone else’s cries of pleasure and the music on the lower floor, glossing over it as if it hadn’t happened at all. It was peculiarly numb to feel useless, a different kind from what he had gotten used to.

Embarrassed of the course of events, Ignis did not go back in. Having to face Aranea, let alone Ardyn did not feel like a good idea right now. He knew he could not hide from what happened for ever and that he wanted to know more about Noctis’ background and what had happened to him in the past that had lead to this. But not tonight. He would have to sort his thoughts first.

He agreed to leave the money with Gladio, even though that was not the usual way to do it. But apparently, nothing about Ignis was ‘the usual’ anyway, so what did he have to lose? There should be no complaints as long as he left behind what he owed. Gladio sensed that something was amiss and upon his question, Ignis advised him to look after the young man upstairs. 

“He... seemed more than just a little upset”, Ignis explained as Gladio eyed him curiously. “According to Ardyn and Miss Aranea, it... wasn’t the first time to happen.”

The tall man seemed to understand as he shook his head in bewilderment.  
“What did you do to him?”, Gladio asked, staring at him in dismay.

Ignis gave a dry grin, not more than a twitch of his lips.  
“Talk.”

Gladio didn’t seem to understand the simplicity of his answer but Ignis said his good-byes without further explanation and turned his back on the ClockWork and what the night might bring.  
The wind had picked up and was chasing raindrops down the road, smacking them to burst against the concrete. Ignis found himself chased by that unpleasant weather too as he put up his umbrella to hurry to the station, away from the harsh words that were still echoing in his ears.

You’re soft.  
You’re sick.  
You can’t prove me wrong.

“Drat...”  
It stung. Not only because of the circumstances the words had came up in. Ignis had been confronted with his own vices and not in a friendly way, not only hurting himself but also a person that merely had caught his interest. He could see everything so clearly by only looking at Noctis that it was beyond him how blind he had been when it had come to his own problems.

Things could not stay that way. Changes were to be made. What exactly had to be changed and how those changes could be achieved was unclear. But Ignis sensed that this realisation already marked the first step. And he would not be the only one to take it.

Noctis was the one who made it all too clear that Ignis was far from being the only one suffering from unspoken burdens. And Ignis wanted to be the one to help him lift his in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thank you for taking your time and for your patience!
> 
> It was quite a struggle putting this one up. I went through the first half rather smoothly but then the second half... the argument... argh. I'm still unsure if I got everything across and if the actions the people take are fully understandable but for the moment I decided to leave it at that.  
> At least the chapter content didn't stray from what I wanted to cover with it.
> 
> I'll be finally taking up a job come next month, so either my writing will slow down a little or work fuels me with inspiration and the speed will increase to an astronomical tempo xD  
> Anyway, I'd be happy to still have you on board for the upcoming chapters. Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

If there was something Ignis could not deal well with, it was rejection. It was not about the incapability to understand when he did something wrong or about being scolded for those same mistakes. Ignis knew how to take responsibility and he would whenever asked to do so. Being rejected was so much worse. It left that nagging feeling of guilt behind while being powerless to change it. That want to explain, justify oneself and to apologise. But being rejected meant that he was robbed of the possibility to put right what had gone wrong.

Those thoughts had not cared to leave him alone, always coming back to make him wonder about Noctis and about what exactly in his words had hurt him and why. It was a first to have somebody react so vehemently towards him, even though he had meant no harm, not in the slightest.

Who do you think you are?  
You don’t know me.  
Get out.

A never silent canon of recurring accusations, words that carried blades in their own ways.

By nighttime of the following day it had become unbearable and Ignis had forced himself to get back to his very private crime scene. Much alike the time when he had felt the urge to apologise to have kept Noctis from business, he had wanted to do so again. Especially now, when there had been real damage dealt, not merely boredom and confusion.

This time though, there would be no talking. No casual drinks at the bar, trying to evade Aranea’s flirting and no chance of having Noctis sit down next to him or at least give him an ear.  
It had already been clear when Gladio’s greeting turned out to be rather curt, pursed lips and worried brows inquiring if Ignis was sure he wanted to enter. Business was business so Gladio wouldn’t have kept him from entering with force. Still, he had been concerned, without specifying the reason.

Being welcomed certainly felt different, even more so when it sank in that it was not Aranea serving behind the counter. It put the lack of familiarity into the spotlight, which had been disturbingly unsettling.  
That unpleasant feeling only had grown in intensity as Noctis himself had entered the room, a presence that made heads turn and voices raise. And Noctis had seen him. It had been all too obvious in the way his facial features changed, then hardened. His eyes had lingered a tad too long to be an accidental crossing of looks.

Before Ignis had even had a chance to call out to him, Noctis was already diverting his gaze, focusing on the man behind him who had been fondling with the strings of his corset top. Who had slid his hand down to sink his fingertips into the muscle of Noctis’ bum. Ignis had seen it in the way the shiny texture of his too tight pants bent under the touch. Blue eyes flickering back to him in a mock, only to check if he was still looking. The sight made Ignis’ stomach twist.

It had not been the last peek Noctis had sneakily taken from somewhere in the room, between shallow banter and meaningless whispers, cloaked by the smoke of cigarettes and perfume, so sickeningly sweet. Noctis had been avoiding, yet not ignoring him. Every glance in his direction had been a stab to his side, a provocation.  
Ignis had only been able to take so much of it before he had left, hurt by his own expectations and illusions. Indeed, who did he think he was?

Muddy rain had been splashing up from the asphalt, staining Ignis’ shoes as he had walked away with a strong step. This was sick, yes it was. Irrational and more than inexplicable. Still the thought didn’t leave him as he had been walking away, back turned on that place that had stirred wicked ideas in his mind. They had haunted him for days, responsibility, guilt, anger, frustration and care all at once. An explosive mixture swirling together like clouds in stormy weather until the thunder had clapped so loud that Ignis had found himself waking at most impossible hours. A squint with burning eyes at the clock next to him, then one out of the window blinds to gain the certainty that dawn was yet to break.

Ignis groaned as he rolled up to seated, every spring of his mattress crying out in relief as he released them from his weight. It could not go on like this.

_How pathetic have I become...?_

He shook his head as he slid his arms first through his shirt sleeves, then his jacket and his coat, scoffed as he tied his shoelaces, neatly with symmetrical loops and questioned his sanity as he walked out his apartment at four o’clock in the morning.

The streets were exceptionally void of people, a skyscraper jungle asleep, soon enough jumping back into action after another restless night. Just like a broken record player that played the same part of a piece over and over in endless repeats. Just like Ignis, who ended up at the same place, over and over again.

Funnily enough the neon signs had ceased their flickering today. It made the ClockWork stand out as unusually innocent against the pale remains of darkness that soon would be lit by the waking sun. A quiet and almost peaceful look, the front steps bent with exhaustion and the doorknob dulled with all kinds of touches.

Closing time was approaching with a swift step, five minutes, as the little plate on the door indicated. Yet the closed door gave off the impression of having skipped ahead those spare minutes already. No Gladio keeping an eye on who enters the building and who doesn’t, no buzzing seeping through from behind the darkened window frames.  
Ignis tread from one foot to the other, looking around to assess if it was still safe to knock. It was colder than he had anticipated and the lack of vital signs made it seem all the more futile. And again, contradicting his own logics, his efforts to just give up, step away and forget about this ridiculous endeavour Ignis knocked. He hit his knuckles against the door twice, stuffing the hand back into the pocket whence it came just as if it hadn’t been him who had been knocking. It might have been the wind and him standing there could have been a mere coincidence.

_What a charade_ he thought, just before he heard footsteps scuffling over from the inside. A heavy click of what must have been the door’s locking mechanism and the soft creaking of the weather-worn hinges later, the owner himself opened the door. His sight was a much surprising one and then again, Ignis should have been able to guess.

A dressing gown, sheer black fabric loosely wrapped around his body and only held together by a golden shimmering ribbon over his hips. His auburn hair was falling down on both sides of his face, loosely framing it with unruly curls and bouncing with the tilt of his head. The slippers made of faux fur substitute were nothing but the cherry on top.

“Well, hello there. If it isn’t our dear Ignis. What brings you here at the break of dawn?”

Ignis still couldn’t get over the fact that Ardyn had been able to memorise his name as quickly as that. Those honey coloured eyes were fixing him in all their vigilant curiousness that glued his tongue to his palate. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t as welcome as those words had suggested.

Ardyn paused in his stance for a moment before flickering his eyes down himself, checking on his appearance.  
“Whoops, now you must excuse, I didn’t think anyone would still have business with me tonight. I had just gotten cosy with a last glass of wine, when I heard a knocking at the door.”  
He shifted his weight to the other leg bringing his gaze back to his visitor. Ignis couldn’t recall him being that tall.  
“Has the cat got your tongue?”

“A-apologies.”  
Ignis cleared his throat, letting his eyes drift away only for a moment.  
“I w-was wondering if...” He clenched the hand inside his pocket into a fist. “Is Noctis doing alright?”

He was met with pouty lips and curiously arched eyebrows.  
“Noctis has already left earlier, my dear. Besides I don’t think five minutes would be enough to-”

“That’s not it!” Ignis shot before any other words could come out. The ringing of his own voice startled him.  
“Ah... Th-that’s not it. I mean, I... I meant it.” Two seconds ticked by in silence before Ignis’ eyes met the other man’s again.  
“Is he well?”

Ardyn was simply standing there and scrutinising him, holding his pondering stare for agonising seconds before his lips curled at their edge. He gestured to the dimly lit interior.  
“How about joining me on a cigarette, Ignis?”

“I... do not smoke.”  
Only the taunting grimace brought understanding. How embarrassing.  
“Oh... But, I am sure I could keep you company.”

“I always had a hunch that you were a smart one”, Ardyn purred as he bade Ignis inside, pushing him past himself with a hand to his waist.  
It was silent in the building, the only creaking coming from the planks below their own feet. No high pitched laughter, no cries or jeers. A blown out candle in the wake of dawn. Just the soft scratching of a gramophone needle over vinyl and the sound of soft violin melody diffusing into the air. 

Ignis was guided to a smaller room in the back, behind a heavy curtain of dark velvet. A private room of sorts with dark and heavy wooden furniture. The little round table with ornamented feet held a carafe of wine with a matching glass next to an ash tray in which the remains of last night were carving out their miserable existence  
As Ignis sat down into one of the pompous armchairs, he tried not to glue his eyes on the way Ardyn came to sit in front of him, crossing his legs right under his nose with obscene elegance.

“One cigarette and no longer.” Ardyn summoned a slender stick and twirled it between his fingers - which were decorated with an impressive amount of rings as Ignis noticed. No gems just metal bands of warm colour, almost one on every finger. Only his ring finger was left bare.

After Ardyn had released some of the smoke into the air with relish, his eyes focused on Ignis again.  
“Well then. Care to speak up your mind, Ignis? I figured we would better talk about this behind closed doors. As it seems talking is what you came here for.”

The cigarette smoke twirled up towards the ceiling, curling around itself until it vanished into nothingness, leaving but the smell of tobacco behind.  
Ignis’ trousers crumpled under the clasp of his fingers. Well, what did he have to lose?  
“Indeed.” Ignis lifted his eyes, trying to withstand the brothel owner’s stare. “I... cannot shake the feeling that I did something terrible to Noctis.”

“Oh, Noct has had more terrible experiences than being talked to and then denied the sex he has been bought for”, Ardyn shot back, unimpressed.

“I already told you, that’s not it.” Ignis’ hands clenched into fists. Wording it that blandly only made his insides churn. It had never been about that in the first place.  
“I had the feeling that something was not right. With Noctis. There already was something wrong with him before we went upstairs. The reactions of both you and Miss Aranea were proof of that and I thought... I thought I could do something about it. But...” He shook his head. “I might have ended up worsening it instead.”

The ash at the lower end of Ardyn’s cigarette flared up with a gleaming orange as a moment of silence passed. Ignis was not quite sure where to look: Ardyn’s eyes, somewhere behind them or the swirling smoke that rose into the air after another puff of greyish white left the owner’s lungs.

“You are too attentive for your own good.”  
Ardyn picked up the glass of wine and took a sip before focusing on Ignis again. There was something in his eyes, something that spoke of sincerity. And something like a warning.  
“What happened that night shouldn’t have had. Noctis has always been pushing himself and I ask your kindly to forgive. But then again, I remember someone who _insisted_.”

Ignis lowered his gaze, well knowing that it was himself who had forced that situation upon them. But that was not all.  
“I... saw he was not... feeling well. It was hard to look at and I... I thought-”

“You thought ‘better me than somebody else, I am sure to treat him right’”, Ardyn cut him off mid-sentence, much to Ignis’ surprise.  
“Wasn’t it so?”

Unpleasant heat rushed to Ignis’ ears.  
“... Yes.”

A stifled laughter rose into the air with a peculiar pitch.  
“Oh my boy. I see your good intentions but that’s not how things work. You don’t get to simply decide what’s good and bad. There is more to a person than meets the eye, shadows behind the curtains. The abyss that stays locked forever inside the heart.”  
Ardyn bent over to catch those green eyes again.  
“And, as you might have guessed, even more so in a place like this. Trust me, I know of what I speak. But, rest assured.” He gestured around with one hand. “I have always been taking care of my little birds. There is nothing to worry about. Everyone is safe with me.”

“So that means... Noctis is alright?”

“A way to word it, yes.”

That was better than nothing. Ignis could feel his shoulders ease up, hoping he would never have to see that broken expression on his face again. That very same expression of a broken soul that looked back at himself, every now and then in the mirror. He wondered what kind of darkness was dwelling in him, eating him up from the inside. If it was anything similar to what Ignis was experiencing. That question wouldn’t let go of him. He wanted to know.

“Tell me, Ignis.”  
Ardyn’s voice brought him back from his mindscape and into his armchair again.  
“There is something I’m curious about, something I’d like to know... Have you actually been planning on sleeping with him that night?”

Ignis swallowed, lip twitching at the fact of having been caught. Had it really been that obvious? And was that something he should be... ashamed of?  
“No.”

“Still you insisted?”

“It was simply because... I thought I could-”  
He thought he could what? What exactly had he been expecting? All his intentions were running in circles, repeating themselves and going nowhere.  
He had wanted to help. To listen in return, give back what he had been given and wipe that look from Noctis’ face. Give him a moment of peace. Protect him from having to engage in further endeavours he didn’t seem to be liking as much, maybe even suffered under. Protect him from...

Ignis sighed as he realised how much he had been interpreting, how much he had assumed the truth of things even though he couldn’t have known. How ridiculously important he had deemed himself to be. Presumptuous after all. And what for? He had only ended up embarrassing himself.  
“Never mind that...”

Ardyn let out a sound of disappointment.  
“And yet you were so determined... I’m hesitant to let go of the thought of you having more in mind.”  
Another piece of cigarette crumbled down to glowing ashes.

More? What more should he have had in mind? Ignis had wanted to help. Maybe had been a little curious about what could have shaken him that much. Interested to see if they were anything alike. Was that why Noctis had been so often on his mind?  
Ignis shook his head.  
“I simply misjudged the situation.”

“Hmm...?”  
With a raised eyebrow Ardyn put out the tobacco stick under a precise twist of fingers against the ash tray.  
“I would have loved to continue that conversation but I am afraid that time is up.”  
It was dizzying how quickly the man came to a standing again, a whirl of black fabric and purplish hair. Ignis shrunk just a little into his seat as was looked down upon from an impressive height. It was unmistakably time to leave.

When Ignis stepped out the door he was greeted with clear air, cool in his lungs and carrying the notion of rain drawing near. It was strikingly sobering. He could feel the exhaustion in his bones, now that all remaining adrenaline had left him for good.  
Before he could start walking down the crumbly stairs, Ignis felt his arm being pulled back.

“One last word on this from my part.”  
Ardyn’s face showed no traces of taunt, no false smirk and adulation. If anything, Ignis had the impression to look into his face for the very first time. The man had stern but tired eyes.  
“See that you don’t grow too fond of Noctis, will you? You won’t be doing anyone a favour. Neither yourself nor him.”

“I... I am afraid I don’t know what you mean.”

”He has been rather quiet those days, you see? There seems to be something on his mind and it is bothering him. We wouldn’t want you to add anything on top of that and trouble him more than necessary, would we?”

Ignis frowned. Did Ardyn just imply that Ignis had done something to Noctis after all? That he was the ‘something’ that was troubling him?  
“N-no, of course not...”  
He still didn’t understand.

“I am serious, Ignis.”  
The hand on Ignis’ arm gripped him stronger.  
“This is not a place to look for comfort the way you do, so maybe you might want to find... somewhere else to spend your time. I am giving you this advice from my very heart, not as businessman to a customer but as a man to another. I know what I see, even if you are not aware of it.”

Ignis straightened out his back. That was a less than subtle way to tell him he was not welcome. Or, well, something similar. He had never been told anything alike and it left him gawping, face frozen in disbelief.  
“No.”  
The word flew out just like that, carried away by the morning breeze.

Ardyn pulled back his hand and shrugged.  
“Do not tell me I didn’t warn you. But should you feel like coming close to a point where your streets parts in two, remember my words. Where love is for the highest bidder, there can be no trust. Where there is no trust, there can be no love.”

Love? When had this conversation turned to be about love? That had never been the subject in the first place. It made no sense.  
Confusion written all over his face, Ignis barely nodded. Something in the owner’s voice had a bitter ring to it but that thought was swiped away by the oddness of the situation. Ardyn was not a bad person, that much was certain. There simply were a lot of mysteries shrouding him. Ignis wasn’t sure if one could really be at ease around him. One last absent nod and he took the stairs, one shoe almost catching on one of the cracks.

Ignis’ head was spinning. Had it been worth it coming here just now? Well, Noctis seemed to be taken care of, at least that was reassuring. But there had been so many things in his conversation with Ardyn that had given rise to further questions. What was he seeing that Ignis couldn’t? What abyss had he been referring to? Was it something different than what Ignis was already aware of? And what form did it have for Noctis? And most of all: had Ignis be the one to actually hurt him?

A ray of early sunlight tinted the edges of the sky in a fresh apricot colour as the first early birds flew out of their nests, quick steps in shiny shoes and black plumage, just as every other day. The watch told Ignis that there was not enough time to get back and change clothes. Off to work it was. There was a drilling pain in his head, heavy from exhaustion and screaming with uncoordinated thoughts. All the emotional stress he had been confronted with lately had been overwhelming. But then again...

_Swallow them down, unpack them later._  
At least that was what he was trying to convince himself to do as he already mapped out the most efficient way to spend those additional early hours.

 

“Ignis, you look like shit.”  
Nyx’s words merely summoned a sarcastic ‘ha’ from Ignis’ lips, which caught the co-worker by surprise.  
“Whoah, was that a scoff? You scoffing now?”

Ignis sighed and slid off his glasses to rub around his eyes.  
“How else am I supposed to react then?”

“Uh. I don’t know? But _scoffing_? That’s not like you. Everything alright?”  
Nyx scrunched his nose with an incredulous look.  
“And, did you start smoking?”

“Certainly not.”  
Ignis brought up a sleeve of his jacket to his face and, indeed. He still smelled of the cigarette smoke that had been filling the room earlier this morning. He hadn’t considered that.  
“I merely forgot to air my jacket properly. Apologies, I hope it doesn’t bother you too much.”

Nyx waved his hand.  
“No worries. But, really, you look like you’d better go home and get some rest for those panda eyes of yours. What the heck have you been up to?”

Rest. Ignis scanned over his ever busy desk. Nothing would ever change about that. The sticky notes in the ever sharp handwriting yelling _ASAP_ in red letters were peeking up to him from every single pile of documents.  
“No rest for the wicked”, he returned, suppressing a yawn and facing the display again. “I merely had a bad night. Very few sleep, nothing more to it.”

“If you say so? But...”

Nyx was continuing his talking but Ignis didn’t pay attention. The only thing he heard was the scrunching sound of his granola bar between his teeth. Cheese flavour.

_Atrocious._

As expected the bar and the insane amount of coffee wouldn’t manage to fill up his stomach enough to last throughout the day. The gurgling of his stomach threatening to give him away, Ignis decided to leave for lunch this time, much to Nyx’s approval. He would have invited him to join, but not today. He was anything but up to any kind of conversation. Just a silent meal would be nice.

For a while Ignis wandered aimlessly through the streets around the company building. With all the people scurrying around, squeezing the most out of their spare lunch break, the pavements were buzzing with noise and movements, making it all the harder to decide for a place to spend some calm minutes in. Gasoline was mixing with the scent of deep-frying fat and too spicy aftershaves, bits and pieces of petty conversations reaching Ignis’ ears, strung together with the sounds of his own breath and pulse. He just wanted to hide, anywhere silent, anywhere that was not here, anywhere that was not that dizzying.

He ended up at a ramen place, simple and with a greasy floor but quiet. At least for the occasional slurping noises from the otherwise silent customers. The big boilers gave off muffled bubbling of water and broth alike while the rhythmical clacking of knives against chapping boards contributed to an overall calm atmosphere. Ignis took a deep breath after he sat down. The air tasted salty.

“One bowl of pork broth ramen with extra spinach and egg.”

A call of gratitude from the shop keepers and Ignis slid of his glasses, folding them inside the breast pocket of his jacket. Lenses inside. They always fogged up and ended up with greasy broth blotches on them when he ate ramen. A reason why he didn’t do so very often even though he liked it.  
He poured himself some of the water from the carafe on the counter, drank down one glass and filled it up to have a spare when the food would come.

It didn’t take long until it arrived with a determined hand and a vivid “Pork broth ramen, extra spinach, egg, there you go!”

Ignis’ words died down in his throat. He knew that voice. His eyes flew up and right into a familiar face that was more than simply out of place. How was this even possible?

“... Miss Aranea?”

It was unmistakably her, minus the fair amount of sparkly makeup layers and false lashes. Of course she would not wear anything else but a cooking uniform and an apron smeared with oil, her hair bound together into a knot to fit under a net.  
Her face fell immediately, all sorts of panic flashing over her features.

“Wha- What are _you_ doing here?!”

Her raised voice made heads turn, not only those of the customers but those of her co-workers as well. One of the cooks could be heard from over his kettle.  
“Highwind, any problems?”

Aranea’s eyes darted back and forth, quickly, as if to think of something to get them out of the spotlight she had brought themselves into. Ignis just gawped at her, perplex.

“N-no! Just, uh... an old friend from high school. Man, I thought you’d be somewhere abroad by now, hahaha!” She slapped his shoulder repeatedly with a strong smack, making his glasses shake on his nose. Aranea’s eyes were pleading to pay along and, well, why wouldn’t he?

“That’s... uh, quite a surprise indeed. I w-wouldn’t have thought to meet you here of all places.”

The spotlight dimmed down and both of the main actors’ shoulders loosened with relief.  
“I’ll be right back, just taking a little break to talk, okay?”, Aranea announced to the team, protesting they needed her but she just waved her hand.  
“Won’t be long, promise. Hey, four-eyes, take your ramen and come over for a sec?” Aranea pointed towards the ‘staff only’ door with her thumb.

With an exasperated sigh and wondering thought how things like this could keep happening, Ignis stood to follow, the bowl of ramen swiftly grabbed from his hands by the waitress (“Just so you don’t ‘spill’ it, got it?”) and only moments later he finds himself in the small staff break room, a well manicured, now gloved finger pointed directly at his face.

“You won’t waste a _single_ word, you hear me?”  
Her eyes were fierce but not without embarrassment and Ignis raised his hands in defense.

“I, uh- o-of course not.”

“ _Swear it._ ”

“I- I swear?”

The seconds dragged on, both of them frozen in a peculiar threatening stance for another couple of breaths ere Aranea lowered her finger with a strong sigh and signaled Ignis to sit and eat.

“You can’t just walk in on me like that. You almost gave me a heart attack.”  
Aranea crossed her arms, surprise marking her features equally .  
“What are you even doing here?”

Ignis looked up from his bowl, back down to the mixture of noodles only to frown at her in confusion.  
“Having... lunch. Obviously.”

“Smartass.”

“Uhm...”  
Ignis let his chopsticks sink.  
“Forgive me, but I am... still quite in shock. Can you... Would you mind giving me an explanation?”

“You don’t tell anyone”, Aranea repeated her threat one last time before ultimately sitting down, deflating.  
“The ClockWork isn’t my only job. Simple as that. I don’t ‘work’ enough there to get a decent paycheck and a girl needs to be able to take care of herself.”

Ignis frowns.  
“I... pardon me if this comes off as rude but I thought... most people working in that... business would be working there exclusively. Because they have no other options”, he clarifies, one hand up ready to defend against another outburst but Aranea smiled and shook her head.

“That counts for some of the folks. Not for me. I’m just interested in seeing life from different angles. Nothing I’d want to spend my life with. Can be fun though, if the gents are cute.”

That was an unexpected point of view, different from what he had been assuming but not for the worse.  
“The... luxury of being picky I suppose?”

“Yeah. It’s the deal I made with wine-locks. I told him I was only there to make some experiences for myself but that I’d be okay with doing the bar shifts most of the time and he was good with that.” She shrugged. “All about making clear what you sign up for from the start.”

The truth behind her words stung more than Ignis had thought. He chased some stray sprouts in the broth with his spoon.  
“So?”

Aranea frowned.  
“What?”

“What did you ‘sign up for’?”

She leant back in her seat pursing her lips.  
“Now, don’t laugh, alright?”  
There was silence until Ignis gave off a sign that he wouldn’t.  
“I’m going to be an actress some day. And to become the best, I want to know about everything. Can’t fake what you don’t know about. Can you believe I already worked at a lawyer’s office?”

The snort came out too fast to hold it back.  
“Hardly.”

Aranea laughed along.  
“I know, right? I didn’t last long, they fired me after a week.”

The awkwardness slowly dissolved between laughter and joking conversation, just as all of the sesame oil had blended in with the broth by now. An unexpected encounter, shocking in a harmless but not unpleasant way, almost surreal as the two of them were sitting together like that in a laughably ordinary place.  
An actress. Ignis couldn’t deny that he was a bit impressed. Preserving a dream and holding onto it was a good quality. He wasn’t able to clearly map out the connection between acting and the necessity of working in the red light district, but then again, Aranea had a pace all of her own. Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised. 

“Although I must say that I’m still a bit disappointed I couldn’t get you to bed”, Aranea teased and laughed as Ignis tried to rid his throat of a wayward gulp of soup.  
“Annnd there you go again. That’s why it’s fun to tease you.” She handed over a paper napkin. “Don’t worry, I don’t have it that bad. But you’re quite the catch. Just... stock up a bit on self-confidence before you end up under someone’s boot.”

Ignis nodded and gratefully took the napkin.  
“Apologies. I am usually not that open about-”

“Highwind, ‘tis getting busy here. You done yet?”, a voice called through the door slit. Aranea rolled her eyes and bellowed back.  
“On it, just a sec!” She sighed and stood from her chair. “Sorry, handsome, gotta go. Work’s waiting.”

The conversation had been rather fun having but it was just not the time. Ignis sighed.  
“Needless to say that so is mine. And it’s rather running ahead of me than really waiting.”  
He gathered his purse and phone and slid on his glasses again. 

“Got it tough huh?”  
She tipped her finger underneath her eye.

“Small sacrifices, nothing out of the usual.”

Ignis’ hand was already on the door to the main room of the ramen shop, when Aranea gripped his arm.  
“Before I forget. About that night.”

Ignis’ sensed his shoulders tense at the subject that had kept haunting him over the past days. And just when he had turned his back on it, just this morning, it had come his way again. He directed his uncomfortable eyes at her. Aranea didn’t seem angry, that much he could say. But she was serious.

“Something changed since then. I know more about it than wine-locks does, but I bet he has noticed it too. Won’t tell him anything though.”

“Tell him... what?”

Aranea’s lips curled with a wry pout.  
“About pretty boy.”

“... Noctis?”  
So there was something to it yet. The thought of being a burden inflicted on another person made his heart clench.

“Uh-huh. I think I need to explain something to you. See, sometimes he behaves that way you happened to witness. It usually happens after he spends private time with a visitor. That... spacing out thing, you know? He’s barely present those times and it’s really hard to talk to him when he is like that. Ardie usually doesn’t reach him but somehow I manage to. Anyway, we ought to have agreed that he stays away at least until that stupor of his has worn off and he’s regained composure. But he just doesn’t listen. The last time a visitor got upset because pretty boy was ‘not the usual’.” She shook her head.  
“He said Noctis had been lifeless and had started to cry, that he should be better in control of himself when they’re at it.”

The clenching in his chest didn’t cease. On the contrary, Ignis felt like he might get sick. So Noctis had already experienced what he had been trying to protect him from? He had slept with strangers in that broken state of mind? The weight of an indefinite guilt only got heavier as he imagined what it must have been like.

“And then”, Aranea continued, “right out of the blue somebody like you comes around. Offering to help him even though you’re basically strangers. Caring when you shouldn’t. Wanting to get to know him and what he’s trying to hide. You can’t blame him for panicking. He thought you were just going to fuck.”

Ignis grimaced, uncomfortable with the idea her words implied. He didn’t want Noctis to think so lowly of him. But was that the right thing to be upset about? This should not be about him.

“Now don’t look that hurt, sweetheart. He believes that you’re a good guy, true to your words and all that. But he doesn’t want to rely you. I think he doesn’t want to rely on anyone. He’s scared of it. I guess that is why he’s been trying to avoid you. Although, I don’t think he’s doing a good job with all the obvious staring.”

Ignis frowned.  
“Noctis is... scared? Of me?”

“Not of _you_ , silly. You’re awkward and weird, but that makes you special. At least that’s what the boy told big guy and me under penalty of a life long curse for the one spilling that. Whoopsie.”  
Aranea stuck out her tongue, making it all too obvious that she didn’t really care about any curse whatsoever. 

“That’s... not what I expected.”  
There had to be some day Ignis would have to realise that neither intense frowning nor blinking could ease the state of confusion.  
“I thought he hated me.”

Aranea lifted one eyebrow.  
“He’s been asking me about you.”

“He has?”

“Yeah. If I knew whether you’d come over or not, what we’re usually talking about.” She gave a crooked grin.  
“Maybe he’s missing you after all.”

The face of bewilderment Ignis was presenting must have been funny enough to bring out a cascade of laughs from Aranea. It took some seconds until she calmed down, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Dang, four-eyes, please do something about this goofiness, it’s way too hilarious. Haah...”  
She rolled her shoulders and let her arms swing into a cross over her chest.  
“Jokes aside, I think you had some sort of impact on him. Pretty boy has been thinking a lot and Ardie sees that. He’s also turned less ‘profitable’ those days, if you know what I mean.”

Yes, of course. ‘Less profitable” meant more peace and less breaking under touches, wanted or unwanted alike. Being ‘less profitable’ should be something Noctis’ mind was glad about. But then again, Ignis knew it couldn’t be just that simple. Not in that environment. Would Ardyn try to pressure Noctis?

“Do you think he would talk to me again?”

Aranea shrugged.  
“I don’t know. He tells me a lot but then again not everything. And _you_ won’t know anything either if you don’t give it a try.”

“Are you telling me because it’s true or because you want to stock up on salary?”

“How about both?”

When the door to the staff room flew open with a bang and a co-worker of Aranea’s threw in pressuring words (only to be handed them back in the same manner), Ignis jumped. The sudden fall back into reality, the reminder of his daily trot felt as surreal as the moment when a dream comes to an end and forcefully rips you away from sleep. A glance to his phone. More mails and a messenger notification of Nyx that coffee would be ready upon return. Something to look forward to at least. And he felt a bit lighter.

Ignis apologised for the inconvenience and thanked Aranea for her time. And the words she had had to spare. The not-so-ladylike lady gave him a swat to his arm in return.

“Sure thing. I really hope he’ll talk to you. He could need it. And not only him as it seems.”  
She winked with a “See you there then”, before she hurried back behind the counter, juggling with noodle strainers and topping bowls like she knew nothing else. She flicked her chin in his direction in a greeting as he stepped out to get back to work again.

Today, Ignis had realised several things. One, that he was far too easily tossed around by the circumstances he faced. He would have to get a hold on this, somehow. Two, one should not make up the image of a person, based on mere assumptions. There was always something behind the mask and it didn’t necessarily have to be something bad. And three, that it was too late to simply turn his back on Noctis. The thought of him came back to him, over and over in all most unlikely situations. 

Ignis would go back. And he would talk to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it took me two months to bring this to paper, thank you very much for being patient with me m(_ _)m
> 
> I could have very well made two chapters out of it, at least looking at it now I think so. But then again, I want to stick with my chapter count, so you got a chapter almost worthy of a one shot in length |D
> 
> Apologies for the "no Noctis" in this chapter, but hey, it's a mini slow burn so please go easy on me |D  
> He will be back, I promise~
> 
> As always, thank you for your company on this journey and I'd be thrilled to know what you think ^^


	5. Chapter 5

“What do you think you are here for?”

Ignis’ eyes roamed over the office desk. It was a bigger one than his own, of course. Very simplistic, anthracite coloured with slim legs. All in all it looked sleek but sturdy. Organised. Even down to the different stacks of documents, finely sorted out and arranged with no unnecessary sticky notes poking out their head. A massive amount of work, no doubt that made his very own place almost seem gentle, which it definitely wasn’t.

“Sci _entia_ , are you listening?”

Green eyes snapped up into the face of his superior, like countless times before. Fascinating how one could get used to things if they only happened often enough. He remembered the first time this had happened and he had been in so much fear, knees shaking and threatening to give out under his weight. But that first time felt like ages ago. Now he was just standing there, trying to filter the biting words and reproaches to understand what exactly went wrong this time. Interesting how Ignis had developed that skill to empty his mind and step back mentally to just let it happen and get over with it.

“I am.”

Ravus’ mouth almost formed a mirror-inverted curve to his frown, framing eyes that would kill on the spot if they could.  
“I asked you to finish this over a _week_ ago, so why didn’t you hand it in yet? It’s overdue!”

Right. Ignis remembered seeing the document that was presented to him with an angry waving. That peculiar min coloured folder still looked atrocious. He let out a soft sigh.  
”You asked me a lot of things.”

The document slammed down onto the desk together with a wide spread hand.  
“Don’t you think I didn’t hear that! Your slip ups are getting worse by the day. I hope you know that this will have consequences if you don’t cease this. You are not getting any special treatment just because you are a freshman here, are we clear?”

Ignis rolled his eyes to the side and wondered about that peculiar way of stepping out of his skin and letting things go by. Was it anything like what happened to Noctis, when-

“Do you understand?”, Ravus hissed with emphasis, eyes narrowing down to slits.

“Yes, sir. Perfectly.”  
Ignis voice sounded rather relaxed - another fascinating fact that made him wonder what else this day would have in stock. He was usually prone to collapse from the pressure he was being put under and, yes, he could still feel the anxiety doing a tap dance in his chest but his head was unbelievably cool. Had he gotten so used to this? Or better at dealing with it? Or was he simply about to reach his lowest point where nothing mattered anymore and those rails would start to glisten friendlier in the morning sun? Should it decide to shine that was.

“A little too cocky for someone failing to achieve his goals.”  
Ravus shoved the documents against Ignis’ chest, making him stumble back one step or two.  
“Back to work, Scientia.”

His face without expression, Ignis took those papers, silently lamenting that there would be visible bends in them now after having been handled that roughly and turned to leave. It surely was a false impression that the way out of the office was longer than the one inside. Hand on the door knob, Ignis thought there would be another word from Ravus following. Something pointed and harsh directed at him, just like Ravus always liked to do. Well, maybe not liked but he did so anyway. Something about Ignis’ working attitude or his sister, most likely. How Ignis should stop batting his eyes at her or make himself interesting by feigning fatigue to attract her attention.

That was why Ignis hesitated to push down the door handle, his fingers already curled around the cool metal, anticipating another comment but nothing came. He almost felt like turning around with a frown on his face, asking where the usual last jab had vanished today. But then again what good was provoking Ravus into twisting his thumb down on him any further? With an irritated frown on his face, Ignis opened the door after all, leaving the office he had come to visit at least once a week by now, as it seemed.

“What was it today? Your handwriting not neat enough?”, Nyx joked, knowing by now that it was not exclusively Ignis’ fault Ravus was calling for him as frequently. Ignis only shook his head with a sigh.

“Nothing out of the ordinary. I know what has to be done.”

The chair squeaked under his weight as Ignis let himself fall onto it a little too hard and he grimaced. Not a sound he was very fond of hearing, more the kind to let your hair stand up on end in discomfort.  
Lunafreya cocked her head out of her booth too, shooting him a questioning look that Ignis only waved off. She was a kind soul and very friendly, often around him and Nyx. Maybe that was why Ravus was being so suspicious of him. He wouldn’t even accept when Ignis told him that he was not interested in her. Probably either answer would be the wrong one. Ravus would know how to twist it to his favours. Something told Ignis that Nyx might have an eye on her though.

Ignis sighed and turned his attention back to his desk and the slightly flickering interface of his computer. All those aspirations and expectations. He wondered if they were really worth the trouble. If there wasn’t anything else worth striving for, something meaningful. Not just names and reputation but truly important matters. Maybe improving the recipe of those granola bars was one of those, Ignis thought as he stuffed his spare bar into the pocket of his blazer and took up where Ravus had put his finger on.

While his fingers moved swiftly over the keyboard, filling in blanks and correcting typos and other aggressively marked mistakes, Ignis’ mind was elsewhere. In that place where liquor and physical affection could be traded for money and a little piece of one’s dignity. He had not ceased stopping by at the ClockWork, even after that one matinal talk with Ardyn. The words Aranea had told him had been far more appealing to be believed.

Ignis had not exactly put up a schedule or a fixed day of the week but had nevertheless ended up visiting once a week. Some of the times he would just sit at the bar, absently watching the people chase their temporary satisfaction, a drink at hand and wondering what motivated them to live through another day. Most of the time he was lucky enough to have the company of Aranea, whenever she could spare some time. Since the incident at the ramen place, the awkwardness between them had disappeared and if the situation itself wouldn’t have been what it was, Ignis wouldn’t have minded to call her a friend. He had actually witnessed her leaving the bar with a gentleman once, winking over to him with a smirk before she had left the room.  
_Enjoy your evening_ , Ignis had thought, chuckling flatly into his whiskey tumbler.

And some of his visits had been blessed with the attendance of Noctis. It was not that they had actually talked to each other but they had definitely noticed each other’s presence. It was obvious by the way Noctis’ cocky smile had dripped off his lips and his eyes had given away both surprise and tension when they widened.

They might not have talked. Yet it had not been like Noctis had been ignoring Ignis either.  
There had been other forms of communication. Such as that time Ignis could almost feel Noctis touch him, a warm brush over the neck as Noctis had been walking by to another table, not even looking at him. And the time Noctis had come to the bar to get himself something to drink and Ignis had wordlessly held out a glass of water to the young man. Their eyes had held their connection, unspoken questions and uncertainty clashing in bold silence. Noctis wouldn’t have had to but he had accepted the glass, just as wordlessly as Ignis had offered it. Ignis wanted to take this as a sign, that he wasn’t being despised after all, which was a relief.

The nights had been calmer again since then but Ignis’ curiosity wasn’t. Born from that peculiar situation Ignis had developed a sense of fascination towards that mysterious black haired young man, whose mind was unreadable. He still couldn’t shake the notion that they were alike, shared common thoughts. More than once he had mocked himself becoming a stalker, had vocalised it even to make clear how wrong and twisted his behaviour was.  
Something else told him that it wasn’t.

As predicted by the forecast, rain started drizzling from a grey blanket of clouds in the late afternoon and grew stronger into the night hours so that when Ignis stepped out of the office to call it a day, heavy raindrops were dancing on the vinyl of his umbrella, bouncing once or twice before they hit the ground. It had not exactly been cold but the breeze that came with the rain made Ignis shiver nevertheless. Briefcase pulled closer he hastened his step. It would not be too long until he reached the train station and he could still take care of food at the convenience store one block behind his apartment. Just anything to get sheltered and some silence tonight.

At least that was what Ignis had had in mind. He hadn’t calculated peeking into one of the narrow streets, around the railway bridge that was frequented as shelter for those without a home and see a familiar figure through the curtain of droplets. It was dark and the bluish-grey hooded sweater and a baseball cap deeply pulled into the face had almost made him believe to be mistaken, hallucinating at his best. But as the figure raised his voice and his cap was forcefully shoved away from his head by the taller silhouette that was crashing him against one of the metal plates, this doubt was destroyed on the spot.

“L-let me go!”, Noctis yelled, flailing under the grip of the unknown, trying to shake off those fists from his collar. “I don’t have any money on me!”

“As if!”, the man bellowed back. “I know you’re the best paid bitch in that whole rat’s nest. Don’t try to tell me you don’t have any cash.”

“I... don't!”, Noctis groaned. It almost looked pitiful how he was going against those strong arms, like a cat held up by its neck, powerless to escape that grip. “Fuck, let me go! You can’t do that!”

“I can, you piece of shit. You didn’t deliver then, you will now.”  
Noctis cried out in protest as he was turned around, rendered motionless by the weight of his attacker against him. The tinkling sound of a belt coming loose could be heard. “I always get what I want.”

Ignis was just standing there, frozen on the spot in shock of what he happened to witness. Not only had he spotted Noctis, out of the blue and without further warning but he was being ambushed at that. It was terrifying to realise that Ignis had just been standing there all the time, seeing what was going on, hearing the fear in Noctis’ voice and doing nothing. Gosh, how could he just stand here doing nothing?

“H-hey!”  
The water on the ground made fountain splashes as Ignis took up the pace and hurried towards the two, discarding the umbrella on his short sprint. His heart was pounding in his chest, fearing what might happen, praying to be able to get him out of there.  
“Noctis!”

Both of the men turned their heads around but Ignis had only eyes for Noctis and how panic was written all over his face. Ignis approached them with a fierce step and using the moment of surprise, he pushed the attacker away.

“What’s the big idea, you asshole?!”

“I could return that right back to you.” Ignis squared out his shoulders, glaring at the man in front of him. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins and he prayed to the heavens that he may withstand the confrontation. Noctis crouched down behind him, arms wrapped around himself and shivering in the rain.  
“Leave him alone.”

“That’s none of your business. Fuck off and get back to your mama before you get hurt.”

Ignis swallowed.  
“It very much is. Leave him alone at once.”

In the flash of a second a fist was flying and hit Ignis hard against his jaw. His vision blurred for a moment and the pain started pulsating in his face. Somewhere, dulled in the background noise, Noctis called out for him but Ignis is quick to be pulled up from his crouch again, a raw fist clenching into the front of his shirt. Trying to refocus from the daze of impact, he had the time to look at the man in front of him. About as tall as him, bad skin and ungroomed stubble on his face, saliva frothing at the corners of his mouth as he yells about how dumb Ignis was, how he was going to beat the crap out of him and fuck both him and his friend to his heart’s content.

Somehow the situation was very much alike the one he had been facing in the morning. Stepping back from the whole helped. It ridiculed the attacker in Ignis’ eyes and that was just the sobering Ignis had needed. The man in front of him was a brute, but he was also guilty of infringing the law. Ignis couldn’t win this fight with pure strength so he had to take another way.

“Now you’re all quiet you piece of shit, huh?!”, the man yelled, shaking Ignis once more.  
Green eyes glared at him in the deadliest fury Ignis could muster up.

“Enough”, Ignis hissed, one hand reaching into the pocket of his blazer. “I am calling the police. They will come here and put you behind bars for the rest of your miserable life because you were attempting to rape- ”

Another punch sent Ignis flying to the ground, his bum coming down in the mud next to Noctis and knocking the glasses off his face.

“The heck you’re calling the cops, you little son of a bitch!”

But Ignis held his challenging stare, biting down hard on the inside of his jaw to keep himself in focus. Without hesitation he pulled out his phone, pushing the emergency call.

“Fuck...!”, the man cursed as the display lit up and the dialing sound came from the phones’ speaker. Another kick of dirt into their faces, the man turned around and ran away into the night, the splashes of his steps swallowed by the noise of a train running over the bridge.

It took a few breaths in silence, only the late night buzzing of traffic and rain around them until Ignis could catch a clear thought again. A glance on his phone told him, that he had already ended the call, most likely as soon as the man had turned to escape. Good. Pain was pulsating in his face, lighting cheekbone and jaw with that unpleasant swelling sensation. He hissed as he tried to press against the spots with light fingertips.

A muffled hiccup sound turned his attention to his right, where the crouched figure of Noctis was covering his face behind an arm bent over his knees and the broad sleeve sheltering him from the wind. The other hand was stretched out, holding onto the hem of Ignis’ shirt, thumb and index finger barely pinching the drenched fabric. No such thing as mysteriousness right now, it was clear as day that Noctis was scared. Of course he would be.

Ignis reached out to pick up his glasses from the ground. The lenses were muddy so it would have been of no real use putting them on. He slides them into the pocket of his jacket instead turning his attention back to Noctis again, who was still silently trembling beside him.

“Noctis...?”  
Ignis tried to touch his arm so he could see him right into the face, check how much damage had been dealt. When his hand came close to Noctis’ face, it got slapped away, revealing anxious blues hurrying in their sockets. Ignis retreats his hand.  
“I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Y-yeah...”  
Noctis’ eyes flickered up and down the dirty sight of Ignis before dropping to the ground. Ignis could make out a low mumble, sounding something like “sorry” when he stood.

Even if it wasn’t much of use anymore, Ignis gathered his umbrella again and held it over the miserable silhouette.  
“I... understand that-”

“You understand nothing!”, Noctis shot back, voice pitched high with hysteria.

Ignis let out a sigh through his nose.  
“Alright, then I don’t. But you cannot stay here or else you will get sick. I know it’s not the most favourable circumstances but...” He pondered. “Do you live nearby?”

Noctis only shook his head.  
“I can’t go home like this...”

“Alright.”  
Ignis crouched again, hoping to come off less frightening.  
“You need dry clothes and a shower. I have not much to offer but I don’t live too far away. Maybe I can give you shelter until you warm up again.”

“And then take your own share or what?!”

“Noctis.”

“What?!”  
Noctis’ head snapped up and he was finally looking at him. A mess of emotion, chaos molded into muted blues.

“I am only trying to help.”

Noctis’ mouth opened in protest but he remained silent, struggling with a storm raging behind that fringe, thoughts fighting for being said out loud or kept silent.

“I won’t touch you”, Ignis tried again, holding up one flat palm in defense, hoping that the young man would come to senses. True, it was a little weird, especially as Ignis might have come off as stalker himself but that was a different matter. This time, Noctis had been in danger.

The tension decreased bit by bit as Noctis tried to take deep and controlled breaths. He hung his head with an airy sigh as his shoulders dropped down with exhaustion.  
“Fine.” His voice was flat, almost weak as it came out after a few more seconds. “Only until the rain stops.”

It was not very likely for the rain to stop that night, Ignis thought. The forecast had predicted downpours for the next days. He let it slide though, taking the words for what they meant behind their letters and nodded.  
“Can you stand?”

 

The way to Ignis’ apartment was quiet, not many words to be spilled. After all, they barely knew each other and even had been dancing around an overdue conversation for a longer amount of time. Still, the fact that Ignis had been able to get him out of there and the fact that Noctis was willing enough to trust his words and follow him should be good enough for the moment. It was one of Ignis’ principles to keep his word and he didn’t touch Noctis once, not even brushing their shoulders as they shared the umbrella in silence.

“I am afraid I have barely anything to offer but it should be good enough for a rest.” The keys tinkled before Ignis opened the lock to his apartment door. He huffed out some air. “Apologies for making you tag along but I couldn’t let you be like that. You have my word that I am not going to hurt you.”

Noctis shrugged, eyes to the floor.  
“No, it’s okay. A shower and something warm, then I’ll be gone again.”

The apartment was in its usual state, faint signs of someone inhabiting it and cardboard boxes stacked in the corners. Ignis apologised for another cup he had forgotten to empty in the morning, quickly placing it into the sink before showing Noctis the way to the bathroom, not without handing him over a fresh towel, a pair of clean sweat pants and one of his shirts. He offered to wash and dry Noctis’ clothing while he was showering and Noctis told him that he’d put them down in the small hallway.

The washing machine gave off muted whirring sounds as Ignis was searching his cupboards for anything comestible. Most of it were either cup noodles or coffee and some of the free samples of instant soups they gave away periodically at the train stations. Due to his frequent absence from these rooms, Ignis didn’t keep a lot of food. The expiry dates always came too quickly. He wouldn’t have imagined that to become a problem some day. No, not a problem but-

“So that’s where you’re living?”

Ignis was startled by the sudden voice and he almost hit his head on the shelf as he looked up. Noctis had come out of the shower, damp hair but seemingly more comfortable than just about an hour before.

“Yes, that I do”, Ignis answered. “Although, ‘sleeping’ would be more accurate. I rarely spend my time here.”

Noctis made a humming sound. “Looks like it. You could have just moved in or move out at any moment, with all those boxes.”

“Ah, well... there are more pressing things than unpacking them, I suppose.”  
It almost felt a little embarrassing how obvious it was that, in fact, there was nothing more about him than work.  
“So, uh... I could offer you one of those if you like?” He stepped closer to Noctis, showing him three different packages of instant beverages. “I’m afraid there is not much in the house but at least it’s better than nothing.”

Noctis wordlessly pointed at one of the packages - corn soup - and continued looking at the sparse surroundings.

“Here.” Ignis handed him over the cereal bar he had salvaged from the pocket of his blazer. “For the time you’ll have to wait. It doesn’t do much to fill your stomach, but you might want to get some energy back into your system.”

The young man eyed him warily, ending up taking the bar with a small nod. The package rustled as it was torn open and Noctis grimaced right at the first bite.  
“Urgh, that tastes awful.

Ignis chuckled as he poured the powder into one of his clean cups.  
“I know.”

“Then why do you give me stuff like that...?”, Noctis grumbled, taking yet another bite.

Ignis stayed silent as he poured the hot water over the yellow heap of powdered soup, a small smile on his lips.  
“Sometimes it’s all that you get”, he said finally, handing him over the cup, filled with steaming soup.

It was not much but he was glad that Noctis was talking to him. As casually as the situation permitted at least. But they were talking. And Noctis was safe, even if only for the moment.

“I never got a chance to apologise properly”, Ignis said all of a sudden. He had taken place at the opposite side of the couch, to give Noctis enough space to feel at ease. His eyes were set on the deep brown of the coffee in his hands.  
“I suppose you know what I speak of.”

Noctis shot him a short glance before looking out of the window again, faking indifference.  
“Hm.”

“I think I...” Ignis’ hands gripped tighter on the cup. “That... particular evening, I saw a part of myself in you. I know that probably makes no sense to you at all but that was probably what it was. I thought...” A helpless huff left his lungs. “Maybe if I’m not able to help me, I might be able to help someone else.”  
Finally he looked up from his cup to see Noctis’ eyes fixed on him, attentive and focused. It almost startled him.  
“I shouldn’t have acted so pushy. I meant no harm by it and I hope it didn’t hurt you. Please, forgive me.”

Noctis pulled up one side of his mouth into a grin, blowing out air in a thin trail.  
“You really are a weird guy.” He took another sip of his soup and looked out of the window again. It was like he couldn’t speak honestly when looking Ignis directly into the eyes.  
“Guess we all carry some stuff on our backs. Should’ve known. You don’t look like it though. Apart from your work stories you told me once.” Noctis let the liquid in his cup swirl with a gentle movement of his wrist.  
“Sorry to have yelled at you. Guess I didn’t have my stuff together either.”

“No, that’s alright. I shouldn’t have been so full of myself.”  
Ignis smiled to himself, savouring on the feeling of a weight coming off his chest. They were talking and he had finally been able to apologise. Noctis had forgiven. There was not much more he could have asked for. He was glad.

“Ignis.”

The sound of his own name sounded most surreal and Ignis lifted a surprised gaze. So he had remembered.  
“Yes?”

Noctis’ eyes flickered over for a moment before dropping into his cup again.  
“Thanks. For... you know.”

_Oh._  
“Don’t mention it. I wish I could have acted earlier. But, uh... are you.. alright? I mean... does that happen... a lot?”  
Ignis pressed his lips into a line.  
“Apologies, I didn’t mean to be nosy.”

“It’s okay. I’ll be okay...” Noctis sighed. “No, that doesn’t happen often. Just a guy who had... _issues_ with his visit at the ClockWork. Seems like I left him unsatisfied.”

Ignis grimaced at the sound of it and the implications those words carried.  
“That awful person...?”

“Yeah. Sorry to bust your image of me but that’s my job. I wouldn’t have thought he’d hunt me down though.” Noctis’ sassy stance turned more sincere. “I didn’t think it could be that scary. That’s stuff that should stay in that place. I’m not that kind of guy.”  
He halted, sucking in a breath.  
“Why am I even talking to you about this...?” He took another big gulp from his cup.

“You know... I don’t mind?”, Ignis offered. “I can lend you an ear if you need one.”

“Pfft... you’re doing it again.” Noctis shook his head and emptied his cup. Had that been a smile?  
“I don’t think you’d be ready for that. We’re not that close anyway.”  
He put the cup onto the coffee table and stood.  
“Okay, I’ll leave then. Shower and warming up, that’s what we agreed on. I don’t want to overstretch your hospitality. And I have places to be.”

Wondering what exactly those places could be - not the ClockWork, that much was sure. It was too late to be starting a shift - Ignis rose as well after downing his own cup.  
“I hope you feel a little better at least. And... not forced.” Ignis felt that was an important point to stress.

“Yeah... Thanks again. I’ll get going now.”

“Then let me at least accompany you.” He held up his hands as Noctis was trying to protest again. “Iif not for you then because I fear Aranea will step on me when she finds out I let you leave alone after this. Please. I have no intention of being crushed under her heels.”

Surprisingly this brought a warm and very pleasant laughter out of the young man.  
“Hell yeah. She’d totally kick your ass. Wouldn’t mind to see that though.”

Ignis chuckled along.  
“I’d rather not.”

Noctis put on a mischievous grin.  
“Right. She was a bit whiny about that.”

Ignis only rolled his eyes to disguise a blush creeping up his ears much to Noctis’ amusement and a few moments later the two of them set out into the rainy night once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for your patience! I don't know why and how two months passed so fast...  
> I hope you are not sick of waiting on a continuation yet. If it helps convincing you to stay, the end is already planned out, so this is not going to be abandoned ever, that's for sure! ;w;
> 
> Thanks, as always, for reading, commenting and kudo-ing this work of mine! I wouldn't be here and still writing without my trusty reader peeps <3  
> It's all you :3


	6. Chapter 6

“How did you end up at the ClockWork anyway?”  
Noctis was swinging around the sheer plastic bag with his dried clothes in it when he shot that question at Ignis. His steps were light, almost soundless as Ignis noticed and his eyes were flickering to the right and left as if he was expecting another ambush.  
“What?”

Ignis sucked in a harsh breath. Had he been staring again?  
“A-apologies”, he cleared his throat and decided it was best to be looking ahead instead.  
“I wasn’t looking to go anywhere special that night.” It had been one of his lowest days, that much he remembered. The rain had been pouring and he had just wanted to sit down. Somewhere warm. Somewhere to feel alive. And that was where Gladio had offered such a place that happened to be said night club. Ignis tilted his head.  
“A coincidence really. As pretentious as it might sound, it wasn’t like I have been actively searching for it. Somehow, it just happened.”

“Fate?”  
Noctis shot him a mischievous smirk from under his vinyl umbrella.

Clearly taken aback by the wording, Ignis fell behind for two or three steps which he caught up again in no time.  
“I wonder.”

The reflection of the traffic lights cast red shadows over their forms, two young men, two umbrellas and a plastic bag blending into the late night scenery of Insomnia. He looked beautiful enough without all the makeup and glitter, Ignis thought, as he eyed Noctis from the side. Nothing more than a normal young man with a little unruly hair, probably carrying a lot on his hunched shoulders. He almost looked lost in that borrowed shirt and trousers, too big to fit and wrinkling where his silhouette didn’t match the fabric’s shape. Hard to believe that it was the exact same person who made heads turn, filthy thoughts arise and pleasure swell.

Before they had left Ignis’ apartment, he had wondered where Noctis had been headed, where that ‘place to be’ was. By now, it was clear that he had merely been on his way home, when the incident had happened.  
Home. Ignis couldn’t imagine what Noctis was calling ‘home’. Was he living on his own? Did he have family? And did they know?

The housing complex they came to a standing before was not exactly shabby but not in the best condition either. Just another one of those towers that was storing a multitude of human lives behind concrete walls in not too spacious rooms. Ignis could spot remains of graffiti around the entrance door, as Noctis pulled out his keys with a light chime.

“Guess here we are”, he said, turning around on the upper step of three, marking the way to the entrance. “Thanks for lending me your umbrella.”

“Don’t mention it”, Ignis answered, extending his hand to receive the rain protector. “That’s the least I could do.”

“Oh, uh and your clothes-”

Ignis pointed to the plastic bag with the tip of his umbrella.  
“Those need thorough cleaning still, I believe and it’s already late. I don’t need them right away so I will just come and pick them up at a later time. Ah, not that I would bother you where you live”, he clarified. “I know where else to find you.”

“No escaping from you, is there?”  
The expression on Noctis’ face was hard to read but Ignis wanted to believe that there was at least a hint of gratitude in it.

They stood there for a moment, awkward silence forming between them. Their moment was finally over. Ignis cleared his throat and shuffled his feet over the gravel on the pavement.  
“I... suppose I should be leaving now. You will be alright from here?”

Noctis nodded, avoiding to directly look at Ignis.  
“Yeah.”

“Good.” A breath passed. “...See you soon then.”

Ignis’ turning made the little puddle to his feet stir under the motion but there was no light to illuminate those waves and turn them into small hidden magic. Those shoes would need cleaning, he thought as he started to walk, still wondering about what had happened. Had his jaw and cheekbone been hurting before? Why hadn’t he noticed?

“Ignis!”

Ignis jerked his head around, surprised to see Noctis still standing in front of the door, lips twisted into a line of discomfort, one hand fingering along the shirt sleeve.

“Maybe... hah.” Noctis shook his head, bending those lips into a twisted smile. “Would you mind coming upstairs? Just a bit?”

Green eyes widened under lifted eyebrows. What was that about?

“N-not like _that_ ”, Noctis defended himself quickly, waving one hand. “I just... Mmmh... I just thought it.. might be better.” His hand gestured vaguely towards Ignis’ face.  
“M-might want to cool that bruise of yours before it turns too dark. Wouldn’t want you to get into trouble at work.”

“I... will do so when I’m back in my apartment”, Ignis answered, puzzled by the sudden change. “No need to-”

“Please.”

Something about the sudden firmness in Noctis’ voice made Ignis’ words die down, leaving but the sound of his own breath and heartbeat in harmony with the sound of raindrops in his ears. He could see Noctis’ hand clench under the wide shirt sleeve. Ignis wanted to ask if there was something wrong, but that question seemed to be superfluous. With a wary squint, trying to assess what was going on behind those blue eyes, Ignis complied.

“Alright then.”

Another nod without meeting his gaze and Noctis unlocked the door. It swung open with an eerie sound, like metal screeching when being bent. Ignis was not quite sure what was going on but something seemed off. Trying to keep his nervousness down he took those steps back up and followed the other young man to the inside of the building.

The elevator whirred up in silence, taking the two of them to the ninth floor. It was one of the small kinds, carrying four people at maximum and no digital display to inform their passengers of their whereabouts, buttons for each floor protruding from the panel. They must have been white originally but time had worn them down to a dull beige, some of the numbers barely legible anymore.

“There we are”, Noctis drew in a deep breath before stepping out of the little box, holding the heavy door open for Ignis to follow. The hallway was equipped with a greenish carpeted floor and yellow light, casting shadows on the five doors to this floor’s apartments - two on each side and one at the very back. Noctis turned to the first door on the right, pulling on the handle as he unlocked it. He finally looked at Ignis, uncertainty painted on his lids before pushing inside.

“Dad, it’s me, I’m home!”

Ignis followed, wordlessly, watching Noctis pop off his shoes at the entrance and continue his way on socks. There was not much more to do than close the door behind him and follow his example.  
Despite the apartment being small, it didn’t have any of the rundown character the building itself had. It was neatly arranged, clean and rather bright. A little cabinet to put one’s shoes in, a coat rack with several jackets on it, most of them of darker colour and some snapshots of flowers on the apricot walls.

“You can put the umbrellas over there”, Noctis gestured to the corner behind the door while he was stuffing his clothes from the plastic bag into the washing machine, that also happened to stand right there. “I’ll... get you some cool pack for that bruise.”

“Ah, Somnus, so I was right hearing your voice. Welcome back!”  
A man appeared in the door frame at the end of the narrow entrance hall, rather tall with longer greyish hair, beard and a walking cane by his side. Judging by his face he seemed to be a very gentle person.

Noctis gave a soundless sigh before getting up and pushing the button to start the laundry.  
“Yeah. Sorry, it got a little late today.”

Noctis’ father shook his head.  
“That is quite alright. I was only just about to get worried. You normally don’t come home that late when you have to work the next day.”

“Yeah, I know...”

The man’s pale eyes moved to spot Ignis behind him, who was straightening up just a bit, discreetly clearing his throat. This was more than just an awkward situation.

“Oh, did you bring a friend? You could have called you know? I could have made some tea at least.”

Noctis quickly waved his hand.  
“N-no it’s alright. It’s late and he won’t stay for too long either. So, uh... Th-that’s Ignis.”

Something on the man’s face lit up in understanding before he approached Ignis with a slow step and an outstretched hand.  
“Oh, so _you_ are Ignis?”

Ignis couldn’t help but frown, shooting Noctis a confused look. Those blue eyes were moving from right to left, a tilted head signaling him to play along for the moment. He took the hand to shake it in a polite greeting.

“Y-yes, I... suppose I am. It’s... nice to meet you, sir.”

“It’s nice to meet _you_ , young man. Call me Regis”, Noctis’ father returned with a kind smile that crinkled the skin around his eyes. “Somnus often talks about you, you know? I’m glad to see that he made friends at work with such a charming lad. Thank you for always keeping an eye on him.”

“Alright, dad, that’s enough.”  
Noctis stepped in with trouble on his face, interrupting a most peculiar start of conversation. Ignis wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. There was too much unexpected information at once.  
“Ignis had a long day too and he just needs a moment to get his energy back up before he leaves. I’ll invite him for another time.”

“If you say so”, Regis shrugged, letting Noctis pull Ignis away into one of the other rooms where he made him sit on an office chair.

“Wait here”, Noctis pointed a finger at him before he turned to leave the room again. “I’ll be right back.”

And then the door closed, leaving Ignis behind in the room, all on his own. There was a little ruckus behind it, some muffled words, a laugh every now and then but the noises gradually slipped away.  
Ignis took a deep breath, blinking twice as if to help clear up the view on his situation.

None of this made sense. It hadn’t from the moment when Noctis had asked him to come in. It was not quite as unsettling as it could have been but still as unreal. His eyes wandered the room as he waited for Noctis to return.

It was a little cramped, just as the hallway had been, a bed, a desk and a bigger wardrobe closing in from three sides of the room. The desk was facing the only window, stacks of paper and some files standing on the window sill next to a set of three succulents. Ignis spotted a paper peeking out of one of the files saying something about “admission fees” and he briefly wondered what that was about.  
In another corner he spotted a guitar that was missing one of its strings and some books on the nightstand. The wall over the bed was decorated with a tour poster of a band called “The Astrals” - Ignis had never heard of them but judging by their looks, they could either be playing metal or glam pop.  
Nothing in here alluded to the fact that Noctis was wandering another domain at night, on the contrary - it looked surprisingly normal.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”  
Noctis came back into the room, a cool pack wrapped into a clean kitchen towel in his hand. He pursed his lips as he looked at Ignis and hummed.  
“Damn, maybe I should borrow you some makeup for tomorrow. That’s going to stay for some days. Here.”

“Oh. Well, I suppose I have to come up with something then”, Ignis sighed, nodding thankfully as he received the cool pack. He slid off his glasses and put them onto the desk before pressing the cold against his face. It made him realise how tired he had been and how his face had actually hurt.

Noctis gave off a muted sound before he sat down onto his bed, one foot pulled up to his knee. The silence lasted a moment before he shook his head, black strands of straight hair partly covering a crooked smile.  
“Shit. I can’t decide if it would have been better to get back here with or without you.”

“I can leave at once. I don’t have to-”

“No, what’s done is done now”, Noctis waved it off, running a tired hand over his face. “Might have turned out worse without you. I dunno. Just don’t want to leave any weird impressions.”

“Noctis...” He meant to ask him what made him think so but Ignis stopped at the sound of his name. He gave him a wary glance, unsure about where this question might lead. Still, he asked.  
“Pardon if that... might seem inappropriate but your father called you differently just now, I believe. So... ‘Noctis’ is not your actual name?”

Ignis could hear Noctis drawing in a breath and holding it. He could see the shoulders tense, the fingers of his hand clench just a little over his face. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked after all because it was a means to protect himself from his night-life bleeding into the daylight one. Words of apology died down on his tongue, leaving them to the uncomfortable silence between strangers that had just slightly started to shift from that status. 

“Who knows?”, Noctis finally spoke up, face still shielded. “It was supposed to be.”  
He sighed.  
“You really have to poke your nose into everything without a warning, do you, Ignis.”

Ignis flinched at the bitter accusation in Noctis’ voice, making him feel uncomfortable in his skin. He had to sort his words twice before something came out.  
“F-forgive me. It... wasn’t my intention to intrude”, he stammered, creating just a little more space between them with an upheld hand.

Surprisingly, Noctis’ head snapped up, a troubled frown peeking out between his black strands of hair.  
“N-no, that’s not- It’s not really your _fault_. Just the way you- See, there is more to that and I just don’t- ah, shit...” He let out a groan. “Give me a minute okay? I need to sort myself.”

Confused and slightly worried, Ignis watched Noctis run his hands up and down his arms, through his hair and over his face, watched him close his eyes and breathe deep. But he stayed quiet with a beating heart, continuously pressing the cooling device against his face.

“You always had the face of that kind of person who you pour out your heart to”, Noctis finally huffed. “It was scary back then already, but I guess in the end, here I am anyway.”  
He buried his hands into the long sleeves of Ignis’ shirt and grabbed his own ankle.  
“Okay. It’s a longer story but I’ll try not to bother you with the details.”

“Listen, I really didn’t mean to-”

“You asked so don’t make me regret telling you now.”

That much was true. Ignis had offered his shoulder, maybe just his ear if needed but last time he had been yelled at for it. And now? The very same Noctis who had chased him from the spot was sitting here with him, in Ignis’ clothes in Noctis’ room actually opening up to him. It was what he had been chasing the last weeks, what had kept him awake and wonder. So if this should be the moment, Ignis would give it a meaning and listen.

“So... I guess you heard my dad calling me ‘Somnus’? Well, of course you did, that’s why you asked in the first place.”  
Noctis kneaded around his ankle, playing with the fabric of his trousers.  
“There were three of us, not that long ago. Myself, dad and Somnus... my brother. Twin brother. Wow... has it been two years already?”

A sad smile was playing around Noctis lips as he stared into a void somewhere before him. This was a secret, kept hidden behind layers of makeup and the outburst that day, warped into hysteria by the emotional strain. Ignis put down the cool pack together with his hand into his lap.  
“So... I assume then that...?”

“Yeah. It was an... ugly accident. Somnus had mid-term holidays at university and we were on our way to the beach. Once in a long while, a family thing we’ve been doing since forever. But that trip would end up in a disaster.”  
Noctis clenched his fingers into fists around his ankles, knuckles going white with the pressure. His voice was low and shaking a little as he continued, eyes still facing down.  
“That day... I lost my brother and my dad his sanity. We were heavily injured but... I’m the one that came out of all this with the fewest issues. Dad had been dealing with a lot of physical and mental stuff and Somnus... didn’t make it.”

Ignis lowered his eyes.  
“I’m... sorry.”

Noctis struggled with words for another moment.  
“It’s been... since then that dad started to call me Somnus. I know it’s not his fault. It’s... been a hard time.”

“But... couldn’t you have told him?”

Noctis shook his head.  
“Somnus has always been the one. He was always the clever one, doing better at school than me, having a... clearer concept of his future than I had. He was going to be somebody big, gifted as he was. Top at school, better even at university. I was always the one being compared to him. Some sort of... awkward blueprint. But it was okay. I looked up to him, was proud of him. And he never looked down on me. We were really close.”  
Noctis smiled, sad eyes tracing the shape of his own fingers.  
“But it seems he has been the one to stick to dad’s mind after all that stuff. So I just went with it. What does it matter? I always wanted to be more like him anyway. To make dad proud too.”

Ignis pressed his lips together. That was quite a heavy burden to carry.  
“Does... your father know, what...” He couldn’t bring himself to end the question. Everything felt so inappropriate right now, every question another wrong one.

Noctis only gave a dry laugh, finally looking at Ignis.  
“Keep that for yourself, okay? Of course not. And he won’t, ever. But it’s... the only way I can hold all of this here up.” He gestured around the room.  
“Dad can’t work the way he is, and I have to keep things running somehow. At least until I can get him to undergo therapy. But with the money I bring home that’s going to take years. Guess dropping out from school wasn’t the smartest idea back then.” Noctis shrugged, timid eyes and an awkwardly quivering smile directed at Ignis. “Not what you asked for, huh. Sorry to bust your image.”

“No, it’s...”  
Ignis averted his eyes, feeling like he had seen something he hadn’t been meant to see. What was there to say? What advice could he possibly give in such a situation? It was definitely more than he had bargained for and now he would have to stand up for it.

“I-I won’t let you blame me for that”, Noctis added, fingering with the hems of trousers and shirt. “You wanted to know and I told you. That’s it. I’m not going to take responsibility for that. Y-you can’t make me. I owe you nothing.”

“No, you don’t.”  
A deep breath filled Ignis’ lungs before he could swallow around the lump that had shown up in his throat. He tilted his head, trying to search for the right words but there were none. Now, of all times, when exactly all he had been wishing for had happened. Had it been what he had expected? Not at all. Did he regret now that he knew? Not really. Still it left a painful sensation in his chest, knowing what was actually sweltering behind those disguised blue windows.

“I wish... I had more of an advice to give”, he finally said. “Something... to lift your spirits. I had no idea... Thank you for... trusting me enough to talk. I... assure you, your words... are safe with me. If there is something I can do-”

“Hah, please...”, Noctis rolled his eyes as if to mock some invisible force taking hold of him.  
“You’re at your limits yourself, don’t be ridiculous. And we don’t even really know each other, so why did I bother to tell you all of this bullshit...?”

“It’s not ‘bullshit’”, Ignis countered immediately, catching Noctis’ eyes and keeping them linked with his own.  
“This ‘bullshit’ is a part of you and what keeps you moving forward. Those efforts mean something, Noctis, and they will get you somewhere.” 

“Yeah, into bed with random dudes to get fucked, that’s where they got me. Not something I’m proud of.”

“Noctis-”

“Yeah, that’s me. So? Are you satisfied now? You can just drop me and leave me behind then, just like all of them do. But once you did, don’t come back to that place again. I don’t need pity to meddle with my stuff. It’s fucked up enough.”

Words that had a harsh sound were wrapping Noctis back into that cocoon of his. Ignis could sense the insecurity after having shown a glimpse of what was truly underneath, a piece of the reality that had never been of concern to anybody else than Noctis himself. He let a few seconds pass until he spoke up, calmly but firmly.

“Did you really think I intended to drop you after you trusted me enough to open up?”

Noctis blinked, confusion reflecting in his gaze.  
“What’s this about? You’re not actually going to tell me you won’t.”

“It has been weeks now that I have been thinking about what happened in that room upstairs, Noctis. I felt guilty for what I did, I did not mean to hurt you and I still don’t. The lesser now that I know what depth there is to it. But you wouldn’t talk to me, and I also understand why you wouldn’t. I’m profoundly sorry for whatever pain I inflicted upon you that night and it upsets me to hear what you are going through. But you decided to trust me. I don’t intend to simply discard that. Who would do such a thing?”

“You... you don’t mean that.”

Ignis lips bent into a small upward curve.  
“I do. Even though, frankly spoken, I have little idea about what there is I can do to... make it easier for you at least. Maybe we can think about something together? I-if you let me that is.”

Noctis’ eyes narrowed and Ignis’ wasn’t sure if it was in mistrust or incredibility.  
“Damn, Ignis, why? What for? What does this have to do with me?”

The smile grew pensive on Ignis’ lips, eyes resting on where Noctis clinged to his own body.  
“I don’t know... It... makes me happy, I suppose? It gives me a sense of... actually having a purpose.”

“I’m selling my _body_ , Ignis.”

“Does that invalidate you as human?”

“You’re... such a weirdo.”

When Ignis’ eyes met Noctis’ again, it was obvious that he was fighting with himself, the faint smile contradicting the way his eyebrows bent and his eyes glistened.  
“How can I just trust you like that? You could be telling anything to please me.”

Ignis nodded, reaching for his glasses on the desk.  
“That’s a question you have to answer for yourself. I don’t want to talk you into anything. I’m merely offering my hand and the words that you can trust me if you want to but in the end it’s your decision to make.” He gives another smile as he stands, an indistinct feeling spreading in his chest. Something he might label as pride or maybe fulfillment.

“But it is best if I take my leave now. You might finally want some time for yourself. It has been a rough evening and I’m sure you have a lot to think about.” He placed the towel-wrapped cool pack onto the table and patted his fingers onto it.  
“Thank you for the first aid measures. I will let you know if I need any tips concerning coverage. No, no, don’t get up, I can show myself to the door”, he added as Noctis was about to move from the bed. No need to bother him any more than he already had. And it was about time to get out of here. The peculiar atmosphere only contributed to the swelling in his chest. He didn’t want to be overwhelmed.

“Well then....” He gave another gentle smile, a little too wide maybe before he turned to leave the room.

“Ignis, wait- no, don’t turn around!”

His hand had stilled on the door handle when Noctis had called out to him, coming up behind him at a very quick speed. Ignis could feel the warmth radiating from another body standing close as he remained where he was, looking at the white bedroom door. Some of the colour was flaking and showing the woody texture underneath.

When Noctis spoke up, his voice was quiet, more vulnerable than Ignis had ever remembered hearing him.  
“I’m pretty sure I’d have had another breakdown tonight if it wasn’t for you. It was... good to have somebody around who actually... knows me for who I am. Not that I don’t love my dad, but... you know...? It felt less ‘alone’ somehow.”

“I understand”, Ignis answered, smiling at the door with eyes closed. “Then there was at least something good to it.”

“Do you feel alone from time to time, Ignis?”

The question caught Ignis off guard and his eyes opened widely, as if to take in all the little cracks on the painted wood he was facing. A pair of slender arms had come around his waist, hands crossing over his belly button. It made Ignis’ heart skip a beat, and it felt like it was racing as it tried to pick up its natural rhythm again.  
“I... suppose you could say so.”

Noctis hummed, the vibrations of his voice carried over by skin and muscle onto Ignis’ back as he let his hands flatten over his belly.  
“It sucks feeling that way, doesn’t it?”

Ignis craned his neck, only able to see the black tuft of hair pressed against his shoulder blades. Heat rose to his ears as Noctis’ hands started traveling further down, past the waistband of his trousers.  
“N-noctis, what-”

“Shh...” Noctis rubbed his head against Ignis’ back. “Let me take that solitude from you, Ignis. If only for a moment.”

“That’s not what I meant-”

“Just stop thinking for now and leave everything to me.”

“Noctis, stop-”

“Ignis, please!”, Noctis raised his voice into the silence. “Let me give something back. There is nothing else I have...”

With a thundering heart but trying to stay as calm as possible, Ignis followed Noctis’ hands, layering his own over them and gently pulled them out of where they had snuck themselves in. He held them steady on the height of his midsection, facing the wall with even breaths.

“I don’t expect anything, Noctis. I didn’t say what I did to take advantage of you. I meant what I said.”  
He could hear Noctis’ breath hitch slightly before he finally turned around and give him back his hands.  
“I would like to ask you to thoroughly think about if this is really what you want. But I don’t want ‘payment’, Noctis. Do you understand?”

It took a moment until Noctis mustered up a nod and retreated his hands out of Ignis’ and back to his side. The situation itself was a little bizarre, embarrassing to say the least but the tension in the room was tangible nevertheless.

“Alright”, Ignis said, refraining from putting a hand onto Noctis’ shoulder like he might have wanted to.  
“Good night, Noctis. Please stay safe. I will see you when I can.”

After exchanging a slightly awkward nod, Ignis closed the door and made a quiet but straight line for his shoes and his umbrellas. It was surely still raining and he would need protection from the cold water. Also the sound of drops on the vinyl might help to distract him from the thrashing of his heart in his chest.  
What was that just now? And what had that been about him and Noctis being friends at work? Another excuse to keep his father reassured that his son was doing well?

“Are you leaving already?”

Ignis spun around to see Regis stand in the hallway with a generous smile on his face.  
“Oh, y-yes. I have an early morning tomorrow so I best be on my way.”

“That’s alright, lad. Being reasonable is a very good quality.”Regis sighed and shot the closed door a tired but fond look.  
“I’m glad Somnus has made such a reliable friend who is always looking out for him. I wish Noctis could see him now. He’d be happy to see his brother has a good friend at his side.”

Ignis swallowed and mustered up a pretentious smile.  
“I am sure he is. At least... I hope so.” He checked on his shoelaces and picked up the umbrellas from the corner.  
“Your son has had a rather tough day. Maybe let him sleep in tomorrow, he might need it. I... will cover up for him in his absence should anybody ask.”

Regis seemed concerned for a moment but was quick to nod.  
“Thank you for letting me know. I’ll have a good cup of hot chocolate ready for him when he wakes.”  
He smiled again as he saw Ignis off at the door.  
“Good night, Ignis. See that you get home safely, will you?”

Ignis nodded.  
“That I will. Good night, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I'm glad to be able to present you another chapter before I hop off to my 3-week Japan vaction next week.
> 
> I'm a little concerned that the conversation and Noctis' change of mind were a little rushed... But as I have the tendency of dragging out things longer than they have to be, I just left it that way.
> 
> The final chapter count might end up at 8/9 instead of 10, depending on how much and in what detail I will write out what I have planned. And it's almost all planned out except for... I think 2 or 3 things I'm not yet sure about xD At least the end is already set so mayyyybe by the end of the year I will have finished it. Maybe.
> 
> Until then, I hope you will keep me and the boys company through the journey~
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, kudos, bookmarks and every bit of feedback! It's very very appreciated!


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